#as well as a few other things but that’s for later
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pseudophan · 2 days ago
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PHANNIE COOKBOOK SIGN-UPS!!
Do you have a really good recipe you think Dan and Phil would enjoy? Consider submitting it to this collaborative phannie cookbook that will be given to DnP at a meet & greet! It will also be available to everyone to download as a PDF.
Family recipes or your favourite dish from your country/culture is a bonus, but it doesn’t have to be that personal. All I ask is that you don’t go rip something random off the Internet right now just to be in the book, I want food you genuinely enjoy!
I’ve decided the most efficient way of doing this is to let you submit up to 3 different options, that way if there are any repeats (and I’m certain there will be) I won’t have to message everyone it concerns to ask if you have any alternatives. Besides, that way I can choose which version gets in based on your other options rather than which one “sounds better” to me, cause I think that would be a little unfair. I also have no idea how many people will actually participate in this yet, which is currently the biggest hurdle in terms of planning. If only a few sign up there is a chance we’ll end up using multiple recipes by some, and if somehow we get too many I’ll have to pick and choose. I do really want to include as many people as possible, but until I actually see the recipes it’s hard to tell what will end up happening.
The main focus of this will be actual food, but we obviously need to include a few desserts, so feel free to submit those as well just be aware the chances of those getting picked might be lower. The same goes for soups, I assume a lot of people have soup recipes and we might include a couple, but for obvious reasons it's a low priority.
Some key things to keep in mind:
Phil is a bit picky and has some dietary restrictions! He shouldn’t have dairy or chocolate and he doesn’t like cheese or mushrooms, among other things. That doesn’t mean you have to avoid these things entirely, but maybe your grandma’s mac and cheese recipe isn’t the best choice
While neither of them is vegan they do eat a lot of vegan food, so we definitely need some vegan dishes. I also think it would be really great if you suggested vegetarian and/or vegan substitutions you know work well with your recipe! That isn’t a must for every dish, but it’s a nice addition where possible
Tragically, Dan and Phil are British, meaning they won’t necessarily have access to all the same ingredients as you. Luckily they are also rich and live in a major city with a lot of options so they aren’t limited to what they can find at their local Tesco, but since the aim of this book is to encourage them to cook we probably shouldn’t be sending them on a scavenger hunt either. I don’t think this will be a huge issue, but if your recipe calls for something you think might be very niche or local to you it might be worth googling it or asking around
The final book will be using UK measurements, but if your recipe doesn’t then don’t even worry about it for now. We’ll get to that later. You also don’t have to worry about typing out the whole step-by-step in detail in the sign-up form, I just need a list of the ingredients and roughly how to prepare it to gauge whether it’s a good fit.
I promise I’m almost done yapping but lastly, about some of the questions on the form - you don’t need to know exactly how long the dish takes to prepare, that will depend on the person or people making it anyway, but we do need a rough estimate. The difficulty level is obviously quite subjective, but I just want to hear how you personally would rank it, and if there is a specific part of the process you think someone who doesn’t cook a lot might struggle with. As for the last question about photos, I’m asking both if you have the time and opportunity to make the food and if you are able to take a good photo of it. Obviously it doesn’t have to be anything professional, a phone camera is fine, it just needs to be well lit and decent quality.
Okay, I think that’s everything-
Here's the sign-up form
The deadline is in a week, at midnight Thursday to Friday CET :)
(I also made a blog for this @phookbook for information and updates! A lot of it will probably still be on this blog, but I'll try to post/reblog the most important things on there for those who want to keep up with everything but who may not want to deal with all the chaos of pseudophan)
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binxdoesgaming · 1 day ago
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This is still such a huge power play because this had to have come out around late 1999—early 2000. By this point, Cartoon Network isn't even 10 years yet, while Nickelodeon by this point was like 20 I'm pretty sure. They only have 8 original programs, and at least one of them had already ended by now. Nickelodeon along with their animated programs has live action ones as well. And the block this was for—Cartoon Cartoon Fridays, was a year old at most.
For years they've gone at bat towards the other, with Nickelodeon being the first in November of 19-motherfucking-93. Cartoon Network hadn't even been a year old and only had content from WB, MGM, and Hanna-Barbera to go through and they were already taking shots. Thing is though, that was in their own network. Even though they weren't the first, they absolutely dominated the airwaves with cartoons. They even beefed with The Disney Channel a few times afaik. They really wanted to make it seem they were all that in the space for animated kids' shows. So imagine the surprise of having their direct competition not only punching back years later, but on your own network through the most underhanded shit possible. If you really wanna make it hit harder— one of the characters here, Edd— the kid in the beanie is from a CN show known as Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy. The show's creator original pitched it to Nick, but turned it down when he refused to let them have most of the creative control. When he pitched it to CN, it was almost instantly brought on by them with littler to no issue. The show went on to be a major success and to this day is the longest running CN original show. So with that knowledge, just think of this:
Your arch nemesis was just born and to make sure nobody pays attention to them, you tell everyone at your place of how much of a wimp they are even though they're more or less still a baby. You are fighting with a baby. 7 years later that same arch nemesis breaks into your house, brings in one of the children you abandoned, and says everyone should go to their house because your shit sucks ass and somehow it fucking works.
There's probably a better way at going at this but this is how I imagine it. And for that last part, I almost forgot to mention that like a year or two later in 2002— Nick made their own Friday night block called Friday Night Nicktoons to compete. It only lasted 2½ years roughly. CCF rebranded to Fridays in 2003 and lasted until the late 2000s.
cartoon network on nickelodeon in 1999. an off-channel promo for cartoon cartoon fridays snuck onto nick’s airwaves via unmonitored local ad buys.
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jinwoosbabyboo · 2 days ago
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Don't Panic
The lads men finding you asleep with your child in your arm while you were trying to feed them. You're a first time mom you're not going to be perfect. A/N: This is a mommy mc if you're uncomfortable with the idea of mommy mc this is your warning [Requested by: who-mentioned-rhys-larsen]
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Summary: You were a first time mom and motherhood was the hardest hood you’ve ever lived in. Even with you husband doing his fatherly duties you were still exhausted. You checked the time on your watch and noticed it was feeding time. You hoisted your baby into your arms and sat down on the bed to breast-feed. You blinked rapidly trying to keep yourself awake “I’ll nap when you’re done eating” You said more so to yourself rather than the baby when suddenly …. you woke up. When did you doze off? The sun was up last time you checked now it's dark out. Where’s the baby? Oh shit where’s the baby!?
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Zayne
Zayne came home to find you curled up with your child who was snoring quietly while you held them snuggly in your arms. He picked your babygirl up careful not to wake you and moved her to the adjoining nursery. She squirmed a little at the loss of warmth, but calmed down once Zayne swaddled her.
A few hours later…
MC: ZAYNE!
Zayne: Darling stop yelling before you wake the baby
MC: Where is she?? I fell asleep while feeding her oh fuck im a terrible mom
Zayne grabs you by the shoulders
Zayne: Breathe my love she’s fine I put her in her bed
MC: *teary-eyed* did I hurt her?
You dropped your gaze feeling your heart shatter at the thought of hurting your child
Zayne: You had her held safely in your arms she’s fine go look
You rushed to the nursery to find your babygirl in a peaceful slumber. A wave of relief washed through you causing you to fall to your knees.
MC: I won't let that happen again
Zayne: Go get some sleep my love you’ve earned it I'll take care of the baby
MC: but-
Zayne: You’ll be no good sleep-deprived go rest
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Rafayel
MC: WHERE ARE THEY?
You rush out into the living room after tearing your room apart looking for your babies
Rafayel: Quiet down. Why are you yelling?
MC: I CANT FIND THE TWINS
Rafayel: You lost our kids?
MC: I-I accidentally fell asleep and and and when I woke up they were gone I-I-I omg im the worst mom alive
Rafayel: Are these two not ours?
You walk around the couch to find them each fast asleep, one laying in his lap and the other sprawled out next to him on a blanket.
MC: I should punch you in the jaw fuck I think I just had a heart attack thats not funny
Rafayel: I found you asleep in the bedroom with your titty out
MC: Well thats embarrassing
Rafayel: It was a nice surprise … This baby shark was trying to climb on you when I came in
Rafayel said pointing to your baby boy who was drooling all over his lap
Rafayel: and this little sea snail was curled up next to you
Rafayel placed his hand on the tummy of your babygirl
MC: I’m glad they're safe
You sighed, relieved that your babies were fine
Rafayel: You should probably go do that pumping thing you always do …. you’re leaking
MC: Shit!
Rafayel: My little leaky faucet
MC: Please put your top and bottom lip together
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Xavier
You sat up quickly almost head butting Xavier who was standing over you
Xavier: Whoa you should change your shirt you have spit up on this one
MC: Where's the baby!?
Xavier: I just put him in his crib
MC: Is he okay? I didn’t roll over on him did I? Was he breathing?
Xavier: Yes. No. and Yes.
Xavier began removing your shirt
MC: Wait wait I need to see our son
Xavier: Okay but lets change your shirt first
MC: No—I need—-Xav move
You end up wrestling Xavier who’s just trying to get you out of your soiled shirt. He manages to slip it off and you dart out of the room with no shirt. You quietly make your way in the nursery and see your baby boy sleeping soundly. Man he looks so much like his dad it’s crazy.
Xavier: Here. *pulls a shirt over your head*
MC: Thanks Xav Im sorry I was just so scared
Xavier: I understand ... now according to Jenna since the baby is down you should get some rest too let’s go
MC: Are you going to nap with me?
Xavier: Jeremiah was in the living room when you ran through to get to our son
MC: Did he see.....?
Xavier: He won't remember even if he did
MC: JEREMIAH IM SORRY
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Sylus
MC: WHERE IS SHE??
Kieran: Calm down
Luke: You’ll wa—
MC: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN
Sylus: She’s right here
You turn to see Sylus holding your baby girl in his arms. She's playfully tugging on his necklace while he continuously moves her little hand away.
MC: Mommy is so sorry baby …. did I hurt her? I didn’t mean to fall asleep
Sylus: You’re going to make yourself sick with all this worrying
MC: I just fell asleep with our child in my arms that seems like grounds to worry Sylus
Sylus: She was fast asleep on your chest and you had your arm wrapped around her
MC: It’s still dangerous
Sylus: and yet she’s fine live and learn sweetie everything will be fine
MC: It’s like my third day out here okay im still learning this mom shit
Sylus: Rule number 1 don’t cuss in front of the baby
MC: Oh shut up
Sylus: Rule number 2 don’t be rude to her dad
MC: Anything else?
Sylus: Rule number 3 dont forget to pump
You look down and realize the two wet patches on your shirt
MC: Shit!
Sylus: Rule number 1—
MC: Shut it!
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marauder-misprint · 3 days ago
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Checked box
Sirius Black x Potter!reader
13k words
cw: fluff, little bit of snogging, pinning, hurt/comfort (I guess?)
“Black is snogging Eloise Garner in the corridor,” Mary says as she sits down for breakfast at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.
“Bit early for a snog, isn’t it?” you ask, not looking up from your paper.
“I’d say so,” she responds, pouring herself a cup of tea.
“Isn’t that like the third girl this week?” Lily asks.
“Feels like he’s trying to at least snog every girl in our year and then some,” Marlene answers.
The group is silent for a moment as Mary, Marlene and Lily all stare at you.
“Well? Is he?” Lily asks.
“How would I know?”
“Because he is quite literally in your lap every evening?” Marlene replies. “Honestly, if we didn’t know you, we’d say you two were dating. Or at least you’d’ve been the first one he snogged.”
You make a face at that assumption. “My brother’s best friend, believe it or not, does not confide all of his life’s mission to me.”
“You’re probably one of them,” Mary giggles.
“Except I’m basically his sister!”
“Siblings don’t act like that around each other,” Lily says with a smile. 
“James!” you call to your brother who is a few seats down from the group. “Does Sirius like me romantically?”
He looks up from his Quidditch book, eyes wide.
“What? What did he do to you?”
He slams his book down and quickly walks down the table toward the girls. He crouches next to you so he wasn’t towering over you. 
“What did Padfoot do?”
You laugh at your brother. “Nothing, James. But these three,” you gesture to the girls around you, “think I’m on his to-be-snogged list. I’m not, am I?” Your words were teasing, already knowing that you weren't.
“I’ll damn ensure that you’re not,” he growls, shaking his head.
“But there is a list?” Marlene pipes up. Her eyes glitter with intrigue. 
“Not a list, per se… But he does seem to have trouble keeping to one girl for long.”
“And there you have it, folks! No real list and even if there was, I’m not on it.” You turn to look at James who doesn’t seem to be moving from where he crouches behind your shoulder. “Thanks James. You can, uh, go sit down now.”
“Oooh! Speak of the devil!” Mary chirps, looking toward the Great Hall door where Sirius was entering alone. 
“Morning, pumpkin,” Sirius says, ruffling your hair. “Girls.” 
James had waited until Sirius made it to the girls. The boys went down to their usual spots down the table. Once sat, James bursts into hurried whispers that lead to numerous glances being sent in the girls’ direction. 
“How come I can’t call you pumpkin?” Lily pouts. Of all the pet names, pumpkin was your least favorite.
You roll your eyes before answering. “He’ll be reprimanded later for that. Don’t you worry, dearest Lily.”
“Reprimanded in your sex dungeon?” Marlene gasps, a hand over her heart.
You smack her with your paper from across the table. “Don’t you start a rumor like that!”
“I could totally see you having one though!” Marlene insists. 
“What is your dominatrix name?” Lily asks, gently bumping into your shoulder. 
“You are all too horny this morning. I’ll see you in class.”
You quickly gather your things, take one last sip of coffee and leave the hall. The day seems to go on as usual for you. You sat with the girls in most of your classes. You’re glad the conversation of Sirius�� list had been left at breakfast. There are minor differences in the boys during classes. They appeared to have shuffled their seating arrangements, but it doesn’t affect you until History of Magic. You usually sit next to Sirius. Instead, you were sat next to Peter while Sirius sat on the other side of James. Peter wasn’t your favorite of James’ friends but you could tolerate him. 
There was definitely something different about Sirius in the common room after dinner. You usually hung out with her brother and his friends in the evenings. This would often lead to you sitting with Sirius on the couch, one of you draped over the other. Depending on who was sitting and who was lounging, you would play with each other’s hair or do homework or take a brief nap. You liked when Sirius would read you the assigned chapter because you otherwise wouldn’t read it. This evening, however, Sirius sat in an armchair nowhere near you. You frown as you watch him sit down and proceed to avoid your gaze. 
The altered seating arrangement and not sitting with you on the couch continues for the next few days. By Friday evening, it is driving you crazy. You need to know what is going on. You wait until most people have gone to bed before deciding to confront him. Sirius was usually one of the last people up so you knew that waiting it out would be okay. 
“Black, come ‘ere,” you say.
He looks over at you with a confused look on his face. He had been watching the fire, lost in his own thoughts. When he doesn’t move, you pat the couch cushion next to you. Reluctantly, he gets up and move to sit next to you. 
“What’s up, pumpkin?”
“What’s up with you?” you ask, your brows furrowed. “Feels like you’ve been on the other side of the Earth this week.”
He shrugs, looking back towards the fire. “Just following directions.”
“Whose directions?”
“Prongs.”
“And, pray tell, what did that idiot tell you to do?”
“To stay away from you?” he replies, obvious confusion in his voice. 
You pinch the bridge of your nose in mild frustration. “When was this?”
“Uh, earlier this week at breakfast. Made it seem like it was partly at your request?”
You shake your head. “Leave it to James to mess something up. No. He said he would make sure I didn’t end up as another checked box on your list. That would be all him.”
“Another checked box? What list is this?” Sirius asks with a slight chuckle as he looks at you. 
“The list of every girl in our year and then some,” you giggle, slightly relieved that it seems like he doesn’t have such a list. “You know, your apparent mission to kiss every one. And maybe get some.”
He quickly turns back to the fire, hoping to hide the brief look of embarrassment that crosses his face. You see it anyway and feel your face flush slightly. 
“There’s no list. And you certainly wouldn’t be a box on it if it were.”
“Ouch, Black,” you say with semi-fake hurt. “Cut me deep.”
“Please, I would be neutered if I kissed you.”
You laugh. Your laugh is enough to draw Sirius’ gaze away from the fire again. He loves seeing you smile that widely and knowing it was something he said to get you to. 
“Why were you talking about that imaginary list anyways?”
“Mary saw you snogging Eloise and apparently thought I would know if this list existed,” you say with a soft chuckle. 
“And James was a part of this conversation?” he asks in disbelief.
“Well, I called him over when the girls didn’t believe that we aren’t romantically involved, let alone never kissed.”
Sirius shakes his head with a small smile playing on his lips. “And that leads to James declaring that I need to be at least a meter away from you at all times?”
“I asked him two questions. Do you like me romantically and was I on your to-be-snogged list?” You pause. “You know, he never actually answered the first one.”
“That would be because he doesn’t know,” Sirius says, turning his head almost 90 degrees to crack his neck. “You know how much he hates being wrong… So he’s not going to give an answer if he doesn’t know if it’s right.”
“What does that mean?”
“That I don’t discuss everything with Prongs. Although, he never has asked how I feel about you.”
You chuckle and nudge Sirius with your shoulder. “You don’t have to pretend like you might have feelings for me. It’s… fine that you don’t.” The words taste bitter in your mouth, but you try to sound genuine. You would be lying if you said you never imagined things developing between the two of you. 
“Why do you assume I don’t?” Sirius asks, cocking his head as he looks at you intently.
“Why would you be snogging anything that moves in a skirt if you liked me and you’ve never made a move for me?”
“I thought we agreed that Prongs would have me neutered if I kissed you?” He takes a breath. “And maybe knowing that I could very well lose my best friend if I went after the girl I actually like is the reason I go from girl to girl. None of them make me feel like she does.”
“Wait, what?”
“There’s just more than one reason why you can’t be a checked box on this list,” Sirius says, standing up. “Goodnight, pumpkin.”
He places a gentle kiss on top of your head before heading up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories. You stare after him dumbfounded. Has Sirius just essentially told you that he did like you and then leave? 
Despite knowing that he was well out of earshot, you still say, “That’s not my name.”
None of the students remaining in the common room pay you any attention as you sit on the couch alone, talking to yourself now. You slump into the cushions and take over Sirius’ habit of staring into the fire. You understand why he does it. The way that the flames dance and flicker and radiate heat is calming. 
You are distracted all weekend by what Sirius had said. You bury yourself in homework and use it as an excuse to avoid the Quidditch game. It’s Slytherin against Hufflepuff so your absence isn't insulting to James. Despite being tucked away in a distraction-free corner of the library, you make little progress on your homework. Your mind kept wandering back to Sirius and what he had said. You had worked hard to bury all of your feelings for him years ago, assuming it would never happen due to his close friendship with James. Your feelings continued to remain buried as he got closer with you and never hinted that he might like you more than a friend. 
In your dorm, you ignore the comments from Lily and Mary that for someone who spent all weekend in the library, you made such little progress on your assignments, or that they were done extremely poorly. 
On Monday, you really do try to pay attention in class, but it is futile. Even after a weekend of him on your mind, your thoughts keep drifting back to Sirius, who is in most of your classes. Even worse, you come to realize that you have no one to talk to about it so you can only let your mind spin as it had for the past two days. You think you disguise your distraction fairly well in classes until Remus grabs your hand in Potions before you can tip an ingredient into your cauldron.
“Are you trying to blow up the classroom?” he hisses at you. 
You blink at him and then look at what you had been about to pour into your brew. He is right. If you had dumped it in, your cauldron would have blown up and severely damaged those around you. You give Remus a grateful smile.
“Thanks, Remus… Been a bit distracted lately.”
“Yeah, I know.”
You give him a look. “Is it obvious?”
“You didn’t bother to apologize or clean up your spilled inkwell in Transfiguration,” he says with a soft smile. “If Lily hadn’t quickly cleaned it up for you, McGonagall would’ve given you detention.”
“Huh… I’ll have to thank her later…”
“What’s got you so distracted?”
“Nothing too important,” you lie.
“If I’m almost blown up over it, it must be important.”
“It’s really not that big of a deal. I just don’t have anyone to talk to about it so it’s… festering.”
Remus turns back to his own potion.
“Must be quite the topic if you have no one to talk to about it.”
You scrunch your face as you add the correct ingredient to your potion, causing it to turn a pleasant blue color. 
“What does that mean?”
“You have plenty of people who care for you. And if none of us are good enough, you could probably have your pick of first years who would love to listen to your problems.”
You chew at the dead skin of your bottom lip, looking at Remus and knowing he was right.
“Don’t be mad but sometimes I forget that you are also my friend, not just James’. And that you are the most understanding person on this planet.”
He chuckles softly, not trying to draw attention to himself. “Understandable. But what is it that you feel you have no one to talk to about?”
“It’s too public in here,” you say, looking around the room. “It’s something I can’t talk to the girls about because they will all tease me endlessly if I do. And I can’t talk about it with James because we don’t really discuss that kind of stuff often and he overreacts.”
“And Sirius?”
You purse your lips. 
“Oh,” Remus says, suddenly understanding. “Let’s discuss this after class when I’m certain I’ll be in less danger of blowing up.”
Once your potions are turned in to Professor Slughorn, you and Remus leave the classroom together. Lily, Mary and James give you questionable stares as you disappear around the corner. Neither of you say a word until you are more secluded in the grounds of Hogwarts. You walk down towards the Black Lake. Anyone trying to eavesdrop would have a harder time hearing you over the sound of waves. 
“What did Sirius do?” Remus asks, sitting down and resting his back against a tree. 
Mimicking his actions, you answer, “It’s what he said when I confronted him for avoiding me all last week.”
“Wasn’t that at your request?”
“No. James is a liar.”
“Okay?”
“Long story short, Mary, Marlene and Lily…” you start to say before putting your head in your hands and groaning. “Screw that. Does Sirius like me?”
“He lets you touch his hair. Of course he likes you.”
You lift your head to look at Remus. “Does he like me as more than a friend?”
“What did he say to you?”
“I asked first.”
“I can only speak if I know what he told you.”
You sigh heavily and turn your gaze to the lake.
“Something like he’d lose James if he kissed the girl he actually likes and that’s why he’s been kissing every girl who looks his way. And then that there’s more than one reason why I can’t be another checked box on the list of girls he’s kissed.”
Remus puts his hand on your shoulder. 
“Oh, darling…”
“Remus, does he like me?”
“I believe he does.”
You whip your head towards him. “What do you mean, you believe?”
“He’s not known for pouring his heart out. You know that. He’s private with his more personal feelings,” Remus says, choosing his words carefully. “But I have eyes and ears. The way he looks at you, especially when James isn’t looking. The way he acts around you. The way he talks to you, and about you. … And he calls you pumpkin.”
You don’t say anything. You were taking it all in, although you don’t quite understand why him using that pet name held significance. You just want Remus to keep talking. 
“You know about his home life,” he continues. 
You nod. 
“I don’t think I could say all the ways it makes him the way he is. We’ve only heard snippets of it. I think there’s a lot he has walled off. And he has a found family in us. In James specifically. So he’s going to tread lightly around anything that could harm that.”
You bite the inside of your lip. You know you have been let inside some of Sirius’ walls. There were the miscellaneous late nights filled with more vulnerable conversations over the past two years. A particularly horrendous nightmare had brought Sirius to the common room to sit by the dying fire, and you had already been sitting there. You had been unable to sleep with your own anxieties. You snuggled into each other on the couch and talked until Sirius felt okay to go back to sleep. 
Even with that memory in your head, the thing you say is, “So James’ irrationality is why Sirius hasn’t made a move on me?”
“Part of it… but that’s not what you’re taking away from this conversation. There’s more than Prongs in this equation.”
You sigh and rest your chin on your hands. The sun was beginning to set and it reflects beautifully on the lake’s shimmering surface. 
“You’re also in the equation,” Remus reminds you. “Do you like him as more than a friend?”
You can’t help but laugh. 
“Remus John Lupin, I’ve been in love with him since second year.”
The moment you say that, it hits you like a brick wall. The buried emotions all bubble up and you lean back into the tree forcefully. Your head hits the trunk with a soft thud and you groan at the sudden pain. You know that you thought Sirius was cute from the moment you met him but it did take time and a little bit of maturing for you to decide that you liked him in that way. And because he is your brother’s best friend, you kept quiet about it, even to your female friends. Despite playing it off, you were bothered when you heard about him snogging another girl in the corridor. You were bothered when you heard girls giggle about how handsome he was and how they hoped he would give them attention or take them to Hogsmeade. You relish in the fact that out of every one of his friends, he chose to sit next to you in the common room night after night. And you treasured every time he let you see that vulnerable side of him that he kept so well hidden behind his bright smile and boisterous laugh and devil-may-care attitude. 
“If that’s true, why haven’t you made a move?” 
You laugh again, nudging Remus’s shoulder. 
“I thought you were the smart one of the group. He’s James’ best friend. His best friend who has never once shown an inkling of romantic interest in me. Why would I risk that level of embarrassment with someone who is obviously going to be in my life as long as I stay close with James?”
“Do you ever think that maybe he thought the same thing?”
“Rems, I…”
“Love, listen. I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you for certain that he likes you. But I suggest you talk to him. Probably when James isn’t around. And if it comes to it, screw what James thinks. He just cares for you and doesn’t want to see you hurt. You are twins after all.”
You sit in silence for a minute. The crashing waves of the lake fill the air as the sun disappears over the horizon. 
“Rems, thanks for this. But we did miss dinner,” you finally say.
You stand up and hold out a hand to Remus. He takes it with a smile. He grunts as he stands up, like the old man the boys often compare him to.
“You act like we don’t know where the kitchens are…” 
After a quick stop by the kitchens for sandwiches, you enter the common room together. You are greeted by multiple versions of “There you are!” and “I told you they’d be together, I saw them leave Potions together!” It seems as if your disappearance had captured the attention of every sixth year Gryffindor. 
“You missed dinner!” James chides. 
“We grabbed sandwiches,” you say, holding up your almost finished grilled cheese. 
“What were you doing?” His eyes narrow at Remus. 
“Talking?” Remus answers, moving past James to sit by in a chair by the fire. 
You, however, feel frozen with James in front of you and the eyes of many Gryffindors on you. 
“Talking kept you from food?” Marlene asks in disbelief. “Must’ve been some conversation.”
“I’d say it was enlightening,” you say. 
“Did he teach you Lumos?” Peter asks from the couch. 
“Ha,” Remus says dryly. 
“Are you okay?” James asks you in a hushed tone as the non-sixth year Gryffindors slowly turn back to their own conversations. 
“Yes? I just needed to talk to Rem about something private.”
“Something private?” he asks, trying to get more information out of you. “With Moony? Come on, what is going on?”
“Nothing is going on. God forbid a girl talks to her male friends.”
“If nothing is going on, then tell me what you were talking about.”
“You are not privy to my every conversation,” you snap.
“I am a bit when it’s with one of my best mates.”
“Your best mates are also some of my best mates, James. Learn to share.”
Your voices were increasing in volume.
“Do I need to talk to him too?” James asks, placing a hand on your shoulder which you immediately shrug off. 
“No! And I never asked you to talk to Sirius!”
Sirius looks from Remus to you to James at the mention of his name. 
“You asked if you were…”
“I asked for information. That’s all. And you have the audacity to tell him to stay away from me?”
“I’m protecting you.”
“I don’t need protecting,” you spit. “And if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be from your friends.” You look over at the boys and then back at James. “If anyone needs protecting from the people you call your best mates, then you need to reevaluate the kind of company you keep.”
“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Let me get hurt.”
You give James one last nasty look before finally being able to move your feet. You disappear into the girls’ dorms. As you walk away, you can feel eyes watching your every move. Apparently if you argue with your brother loudly, the common room is forced to give you all of their attention. Once out of sight, James collapses on the couch, refusing to look at anyone. Lily, Marlene and Mary watch James sit down and then follow you up the stairs. Lily hesitates a moment before knocking on the door to your shared dorm. 
“Lovie?” she called softly as she opened the door a crack. “Potter!”
The door creaks loudly as it opens wider. You had changed out of your uniform and into muggle clothes. You are sitting on your bed, lacing up your heavy boots with a small bag next to you.
“Going somewhere?” Marlene asks. She is the first of the girls to enter the room.
“I need to clear my head.”
“How do you plan on doing that?” Lily asks, trying to keep her voice calm and gentle.
“Heard about some poachers gathering in the forest. And if I can’t find them, I’ll find some trolls or dugbogs or something.”
“And you plan on going alone?”
You shoot the girls a warning look. “Yes. Evans, if you threaten detention, make it for Thursday.”
Lily doesn’t say anything. 
“What did you and Lupin talk about?” Mary inquires, not quite seeing that you aren’t in the mood to talk about that yet. 
“Doesn’t. Fucking. Matter.”
You, having finished lacing your boots, grab you bag and storm out of the dorm. You have to push past Mary who is still standing in the doorway. Your heavy footsteps silence the common room before you finish descending the stairs. Eyes follow you as you leave the common room. Once out of the portrait, the common room roars to life again. 
“So… what the fuck?” Peter asks, looking at his friends.
“She’s pissed off,” Remus says coolly. “And I’d say for decent reason.”
James gives him an annoyed look.
“That time of the month, is it?”
“Peter, no!” Remus chastises. “She’s just figuring stuff out.”
“Care to share with the class?” James asks. 
“I’d prefer to not spend the next two weeks in the hospital wing so I’ll let her tell you when she’s ready.”
“So we’re going to let her go off like that?” Sirius asks, speaking up for the first time since you and Remus came back. 
“Yes,” Remus and James say at the same time. 
“Like she said, she doesn’t need protection,” Remus says, sending a wary glance to James.
---
Remus was mildly surprised that when he woke up, Sirius wasn’t in his bed. He was, however, less surprised when he found Sirius slumped on the couch in the common room. Remus approached him, ready to wake him up, only to find that Sirius was awake. His hair was slightly frizzy and dark bags formed under his eyes. He was still in his disheveled uniform from the day before, having never gone up to their dorm after dinner. 
“Pads?” he says gently. “Were you up all night?”
Sirius looks away from the fire groggily. 
“Huh?” He processes what Remus had asked him. He sits up, his back loudly cracking as he does so. “Yeah. Someone had to wait for Potter to get back.”
“And you didn’t come up when she did?”
Sirius shakes his head before running a hand through his curls.
“She didn’t, Moons. She didn’t come back.”
Remus’ eyes go wide.
“No, surely she came back. You must’ve drifted asleep at some point.”
“She didn’t. I was awake the whole time.”
Remus sits next to his friend, placing a hand on his knee. “Maybe she got back recently and just went straight to breakfast? How ‘bout we go get some, yeah?”
“Let me change,” Sirius mutteres, giving Remus a tired look.
He doesn’t move for a minute. His brain feels too fuzzy and wired at the same time. Convincing his legs to support his weight as he eventually stands up is more of a task than he anticipates. He is quick in getting ready for the day in their dorm. He doesn’t understand how James is still asleep, or how he had slept at all when you weren’t in the castle for all they knew. Sirius ties his hair back and looks at his reflection with his fresh uniform on. Despite his attempts to make himself look presentable, not having slept at all and being filled with worry makes him look exhausted, which is how he felt. He just doesn’t want to show it. He sighs and returns to Remus. 
Sirius watches the Great Hall door as he slowly eats some breakfast. He drinks some coffee that Remus pushed towards him, saying something along the lines of needing caffeine if he was planning on making it through the day. When the girls sit down, they confirm that you hadn't been in their dorm that morning and your bed looked unslept in. Sirius groans. The girls exchange curious looks. 
Palpable concern and worry finally reaches the rest of the sixth year Gryffindors when they are all sat in Charms and you still weren't there. 
“You’re certain that she didn’t come back and just made her bed when she got up?” James asks Marlene.
“Positive. All of her school things were still there. The bed hadn’t been touched.”
“And since when does she make her bed?” Lily asks. 
Halfway through class, you enter the room. All eyes turn to look at you. You have multiple bandages over your body, looking freshly applied. You hand Professor Flitwick a note and take your spot next to Mary. You don’t say anything to all the Gryffindors staring at you. You just open your book to the same page as Mary and turn to look at the professor, hoping he’d continue his lesson where he left off. 
“Where have you been?” Mary whispers, not looking at you.
“Forest. And then hospital wing,” you reply nonchalantly. 
“Did you sleep?”
“No. I’ll be fine,” you assert. “Now shush.”
After Charms ends, the Gryffindors surround you so you can’t slip away to your next class. You avoid making eye contact with any of them as you gather your things and attempt to push through them. 
“Going into the forest at night is one thing,” Lily chides. “Not coming back until halfway through the first lesson of the day is another.”
“Okay, mum,” you say shortly, still trying to push through the group.
“Aren’t you going to explain yourself?” James asks.
You glare at him. “Certainly not to you.”
“You look like you barely came back in one piece!” he exclaims. “I’m shocked Pomfrey let you leave the hospital wing.”
A wicked glint shines in your eyes. “Oh, she didn’t. I just left.”
“Potter!” Mary gasps.
“Macdonald!” you mimic with an eye roll. “If you lot don’t get out of my way, I’ll be late for Ancient Runes and I’m already on thin ice with Raltmole.”
You finally push through the group and leave them in the Charms classroom. They exchange frustrated looks before following you out. They split up for their respective classes, Remus and Lily following you towards the Ancient Runes classroom. 
“Did you find the poachers you were looking for?” Lily asks tentatively once they sit on either side of you. 
You nod. “And then some. The hippogriffs they had weren’t happy to be freed.”
“Did you bow to them?” Remus asks.
“No? Was I supposed to?”
“Yes!” Remus breathes.
You hum and spin your quill in your fingers. “Now I know for next time.”
Professor Raltmole gathers the class’ attention and begins her lecture. Remus takes a ratty piece of parchment from his bookbag and scrawls a short note on it before sliding it across the desk toward you. 
Padfoot waited up for you
You quickly read it, write a response and slide it back.
Is that why he looks like living death?
He didn’t sleep because you were gone
You crumple the paper when you get it back from Remus. You shove it in your pocket, away from Lily’s view. 
“I’ll talk to him later,” you hiss to Remus.
An angry Madam Pomfrey yells at you in front of most of the castle at lunch for sneaking out of the hospital wing when you were clearly still in need of tending to. An excuse of not wanting to miss more class seemed to ward her off, but you feel the nurse’s frustrated gaze on you for the rest of the meal. Mary and Marlene ask you about the poachers you dueled as you walked to your next class. You recount a watered down version of the previous night’s events for them. You make sure that your injuries still make sense but their severity less. The girls are simply impressed and less concerned for their friend. 
You are happy when the second half of the day is more concentrated on schoolwork rather than what you had gotten up to last night. You didn’t want to keep reliving being outnumbered by the poachers and just barely getting out without being too injured. The fear in the hippogriffs’ eyes haunted you. It reminds you that what you did was right, but they had still attacked you after you unlocked their cages. Sitting at dinner, you gently touch the bandage on her face and wince. 
“If it hurts, you probably shouldn’t touch it,” Lily says. “Or go see Pomfrey again. I’m sure she’d love to patch you up more.”
“Going back is admitting defeat,” you say definitively. 
You wouldn’t go back, not even when your bandages need to be replaced. You know that the boys have plenty of bandages in their dorm and you could use some of those. You worried that Pomfrey would handcuff you to a cot and place a charm on it so you couldn’t escape. You were determined to not be held captive to the nurse. 
You fold gravy into your mashed potatoes until they turn a gross shade of pale brown. Your whole body had started to ache during the last lesson of the day. The pain is stronger than your hunger and all you want to do now is sleep. However, you weren’t dumb. Your friends would have cursed you into next week, or at least taken you to Madam Pomfrey, if you hadn’t shown up to dinner. You sigh as the plates in the middle of the table clear and replenish with desserts. Nothing looks appetizing. You force yourself to swallow some of the potatoes so you could claim that you did have some dinner. After a few bites, you resume swirling the soft mush around your plate. 
“Darling, you done?” Marlene asks, standing up across from you. 
You look up, noticing that a fair amount of students had already left the Great Hall. 
“I guess so,” you say. 
You walk back to the Gryffindor Tower in silence. Marlene seems to read your body language, which says you aren’t in the mood to talk anymore. Your face has a hardened look to it with your arms crossed over your chest. After giving the password, Marlene makes sure to hold open the portrait for you so it doesn't close on you. 
You would be lying if you said you didn’t smile a little when you saw Sirius sitting on the couch with no one else. Marlene heads for the girls’ stairs, half expecting you to follow her up. Instead, you make a beeline for the couch and lay down, your head resting in Sirius’ lap.
“Hey Black,” you say, looking up at him.
“Aren’t you exhausted?” he asks, looking down at you. “I think you got as much sleep as I did last night.”
“So Remus says,” you reply. 
Sirius twirls some of your hair around his finger, something he had done hundreds of times before. Only this time, you see it as something more tender, all thanks to what Remus had said the day prior. It sent off butterflies in your stomach.
“Must’ve been some conversation you two had yesterday,” Sirius mumbles. “What else would keep you out so late?”
You scoff. “James being a prat. But it was some conversation. I think I needed to hear it.”
Sirius’ expression softens. 
“What did you need to hear?”
“It was… a reality check.” 
You pause, studying the look on his face. You are vaguely aware of the other people in the common room, but the way Sirius is looking at you could’ve convinced you that you were the only one in the entire castle with those grey eyes. Without saying anything to each other, you feel as if the only things you can hear are your breathing and the muted crackling of the fire not far from you. You reach up and tuck a curl behind his ear, revealing his multiple piercings that he’d gotten over the years. You notice his breathing hitch as your hand gently grazes his face. You smile at him. 
“So between the reality check and Mr. Bitchiness himself, I needed to clear my head.”
Sirius shakes his head with a soft chuckle.
“I think you should find a way to clear your head that doesn’t involve barely coming back in one piece, Potter.”
“I thought you called me pumpkin.”
“I thought you hated being called that.”
“I do, but I let you get away with it.” You gently poke the tip of his nose playfully. Your gaze briefly flicks to his lips before returning to his eyes. “You’re… special.” 
“That doesn’t look like a meter,” James’ voice calls, bringing you back into the noise of the common room. 
You can see your brother standing over the two of you behind the couch. His face isn’t quite murderous, but it was getting there. 
“She’s exhausted and in pain and you come swooping in?” James accuses Sirius. “I thought I told you to give her space.”
You sit up and glare at James, the tenderness of the moment with Sirius evaporated.
“Excuse you,” you say, a disgusted snarl creeping up on your face. “He did no such swooping. And you can’t tell people to stay away from me.”
“I’m your brother! It’s my job to keep people away from you,” he says, giving his friend a sour look. “Especially when I think they have immoral intentions.”
“Have you considered that I’m the one who came to him and not the other way around?” 
“Why would you?”
You blink. “Because he’s my friend?”
“He’s my friend,” James says.
You can’t stop yourself. You slap James across the face. You feel your own face burning and tears beginning to brim in your eyes. 
“I see you didn’t learn anything from last night, you git,” you spit at him. 
You stand up, leaving Sirius alone on the couch. He watches in silence as you turn to leave the common room. You slam the portrait behind you, earning a scolding from the Fat Lady about respect. The common room remains silent as Sirius looks up at James.
“Prongs, I swear, she came to me,” he says. “I was sitting here and she came to me. She walked in with Marlene long after we came back from dinner.”
“Whatever, Pads. Just keep your distance from her, like you said you would.”
Sirius lets his lips form a thin line as he looks away from James and back to the fire. Technically, he had never said he would keep away from you. James had just insisted on it. James sighs heavily, glancing at the portrait hole. He is glad that you didn’t go upstairs to change and grab whatever you would need to go out again, but you leaving in such a fury wasn’t ideal either. He turns and goes back up to their dorm. When Remus sees how upset James is, he immediately goes to check in on Sirius, letting Peter work on calming James down. 
Remus sits on the other side of the couch. Sirius is radiating an energy that said he needed a little bit of space around him. 
“Padfoot,” Remus says, speaking tentatively. “What just happened? Why is Prongs in a huff again?”
“He’s accusing me of trying to defile her when she’s not in her right mind.”
Remus isn’t a fan that Sirius didn’t look at him when he talked. He didn’t want his friend to stay up all night staring into the fire again. 
“Where is she?”
Sirius shrugs. “Slapped Prongs and left.”
Remus raised his eyebrows and leaned toward Sirius. 
“She slapped him?” he asks, trying to hold in some laughter. “Honestly, someone needed to and it’s good it came from her. He’ll forgive her.”
“Do you think he’d forgive me?” Sirius asks, his voice barely audible and eyes still not leaving the flickering flames. 
“Forgive you for what?” Remus asks cautiously. “Did you… defile her?”
Sirius scoffs. “No, Merlin… But… fuck. Nevermind.”
Remus scoots to the middle cushion of the couch. He places a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius looks away from the fire. His cheeks are dusted with a faint blush. 
“Padfoot, be honest with me. How do you feel about her?” 
Remus’ voice is soft. It has a sense of pleading to it, as if begging Sirius to admit something he doesn’t want to, as if begging him to be more vulnerable in the middle of the common room than he has ever been before. Sirius just shakes his head with a frown.
“That doesn’t matter.”
With a harsh sigh, Remus tries again. “Prongs doesn’t matter right now. How do you, Padfoot, Sirius Orion Black, feel about her?”
“Like she is the most precious thing.” He closes his eyes and turns his face toward the fire again. “But Prongs does matter. So how I feel doesn’t. I need his friendship more than I need a relationship.”
Remus gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 
“Imagine if everything went right though… You and Prongs could legally be brothers.”
Sirius coughs in surprise at his words. Of course, he had thought about it from time to time. James was his brother in practically all ways except literally. You, being alluring as you were, were something different. You weren't a sister to him. What he feels for you isn’t what he would feel for a sister and it is certainly more than anything he has felt for any other girl. 
“Think about it, Pads, yeah?” Remus suggests, giving his shoulder another squeeze. “You think Wormtail has calmed Prongs down enough for it to be safe to go back up there?”
Remus glances toward the stairs. Then he looks back at Sirius, who has opened his eyes but stares absently at the hearth. 
“You said she left the common room? You don’t think she’ll be gone all night again, do you?” Remus questions, his voice having more concern than before. 
“She’ll be back… Although it might be better if I’m not down here when she returns…”
---
You spend the rest of the week avoiding James. You put as many people in between you as possible when you have to be near him. If he tries to talk to you, you either ignore him or speak to him through someone else. It pisses him off. You also take to avoiding the common room, being that he was often there. For once, you find yourself being furious that Remus and Sirius were James’ friends first and yours second.
Marlene sits down in the library at the same table as you, Mary and Lily. You are working on various assignments, books littering the tables. Marlene clears a small section for her to get out her own work. She shoots a wary look toward you.
“Black’s back on his bullshit,” she says, watching you for a reaction that you don’t give her. 
You keep your eyes on your Ancient Runes assignment.
“Who’s he snogging now?” Lily asks. She knows someone has to buy into the bait.
“Charity Burbage.”
“Didn’t realize she was his type…” Mary mutters. “Isn’t she a few years younger?”
“Fourth year, but she’s… mature if you know what I mean,” Marlene answers, giving her own breasts a squeeze.
“Alright, we get your point,” Lily says, cutting her off. “Remember that we’re here to do homework, right?”
You just scoff and keep working. Hearing that Sirius was off snogging a busty fourth year rubbed you the wrong way. You keep thinking back to what Sirius had said and what Remus had told you about him. You think about how Sirius had been the one waiting up for you to come back that night you got into the fight with James. You don’t want to imagine Sirius sucking face with a younger girl, but the image keeps appearing in your mind. It makes your blood boil. 
“Potter, you good?” Mary whispers from across the table.
You look up at Mary and then back down at your paper. There were various splotches of ink where you had been holding your quill and lightly tapping it. You sighed in annoyance. 
“Guess Raltmole is getting subpar work again,” you groan. 
You look over at the assignment sheet again and force a smile. At least you were on the last question. Once you answer it, you could make an excuse to leave. You hurriedly finish and begin putting your stuff away.
“I’ll see you lot later.”
“Going back to the common room?” Lily asks, not looking up from her own assignment. 
“Yeah,” you lie. You had no intention of going back to Gryffindor Tower and risk running into James. 
You make your way up to the astronomy tower. As you climb the stairs, hot tears sting in your eyes and begin to fall. You have never been so glad to find the tower completely empty. You sit down near the edge of the platform. The cold air feels nice as you feel like you are overheating. Your mind is spinning with thoughts of Sirius. You hate that you had admitted to Remus that you had been harboring feelings for Sirius for years and everything you had buried so deep inside of you had been brought back to the surface. You hate that your friends feel the need to bring up whoever they saw Sirius kissing. 
As you look over the horizon, lost in your thoughts, you hear a string of swears from the stairs. You don’t look to see who it was. It isn’t a Gryffindor and that’s all that really matters to you at this moment. When the boy reaches the top of the stairs, he immediately spots you at the edge of the platform. He swears again, having hoped the tower would be empty, but then he notices you shuddering and hears your sniffles. 
“Is this where everyone goes when they’re upset?” Barty Crouch Jr. asks, taking a step towards you, unsure of how you felt about having company. He had wanted to be alone so maybe you did too.
You turn your head to look at him. Your face is flushed and eyes red. Tears streak your face. Barty decides that you look too pitiful to leave alone. He sits down next to you, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the platform and leaning backwards. 
“Misery loves company, doesn’t it?” he asks, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you.
You smiled softly, although it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Depends on the company you keep.”
“Well, I came up here to be alone.” He kicks his legs in the open air. “But you’re not a Slytherin so I’ll give you a chance.”
“And you’re not a Gryffindor so I won’t ask you to leave.”
He chuckles and gives you a half smile. “Lions and snakes can be too much from time to time.”
“You can say that again. … What’d they do to you?”
“Evan… He’s hiding something from me and it’s not good. He needs to let me in, but it’s hard to convince him when everyone, Black, Snape, Avery, Wilkes, tells me to drop it. God forbid I try to be involved in my boyfriend’s life…” Barty sighs. “Everyone ganged up on me, even Pandora.”
“Didn’t know you and Evan… Rosier?” 
“Yeah, Rosier. We don’t make it a habit to snog in the corridors like the other Black.”
You grimace. The other Black was your issue. 
“What?”
“The other Black…”
Barty’s eyes widen. “You and him? I thought I heard he was…”
“We’re not,” you cut him off. “Which is why I’m up here.”
“I need a distraction from Ev… What’s up with that little blood traitor?”
You glare at Barty. “I’m not going to talk to you if you’re going to be like that.”
“Sorry, habit. What’s the other Black up to?”
You shake your head and adjust so your legs hang over the edge too. You sniffle again and blink away tears that threaten to stream down your face again.
“How am I supposed to know if he likes me if I keep hearing that he’s going into a broom closet with a new girl every other day?”
“You like him?” Barty asks. “Of course you do. Just about every girl has a fantasy about him.”
You scoff. “Every girl… Yeah. That’s part of the problem. He all but told me that I’m the reason he’s snogging every girl in our year. And yours. And then some.”
“You’re the reason?”
“Something like James would kill him if he touched me so he touches everyone else.” You roll your eyes and lean forward into the metal railing. “And then Remus goes off and says he’s fairly certain that Sirius really does like me in the way I like him. And James constantly acting like I need protection from his friends. And every time I think I’ve collected myself and reburied my feelings for Black, Marlene and Mary come around and talk about who they saw him with.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid.”
“Your stupid problem is better than thinking about mine. I know Ev will be cooled off when I get back and we’ll be fine. Your problem is… more.”
“Do the Slytherins think Sirius has some checklist of every girl he needs to snog before graduation?” you ask, biting the inside of your cheek.
“Not that I know of, but I’m around Reg a lot and we don’t talk about his brother in front of him unless we have a death wish.” He pauses. “Poor wording because some of us do… We don’t talk about him.”
“Hmm… It’s definitely a topic among Gryffindors. Obviously.”
“He’d never be able to finish it.”
You give him a confused look as you sniffle again. 
“You and that redhead. The one your brother and Snape are obsessed with.”
You laugh softly. “Yeah, Lily would never kiss Sirius. Even for a dare. She’d rather do just about anything else.”
“And I call that a success!” Barty says with a smile. “Got the crying girl to laugh.”
“That you did…”
“May regret asking this, but what set you off? Why are you here now? Sounds like you’re just eternally pining.”
“Marlene said she saw Black snogging Burbage.”
“She’s younger than me.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Gross.”
“Yeah.” You sigh and feel tears fall again. 
Your mind keeps telling you it was stupid to be jealous over a silly fourth year, but it was unfair. Barty notices you starting to cry again.
“Come here,” he says as he puts his arm around you. 
While he and Evan would fight, he hoped they would never make each cry like this. The girl he had only ever seen as a force to be reckoned with was reduced to a puddle of emotions. You rest your head on Barty’s shoulder. It gives you a little bit of comfort to be hurting with someone else.
---
“She’s where with who?” James yells in their dorm. 
When the girls had returned from the library and asked if you were in their room, they were met with confused stares from the boys. They hadn’t seen you since dinner and they had been in the common room all evening. While the girls shared looks of minor confusion, the boys shared looks of worry. The boys had immediately gone up to their dorm and opened the map. Each scanned a different section, looking for your name.
“She’s in the astronomy tower with Junior,” Peter repeats. 
“Is she trying to get herself killed?”
“You seem far more concerned about her being with Junior than you did with her going off to fight poachers,” Sirius mutters, going to sit on his bed. 
James turns to glare at him.
“What does that mean?”
“Just questioning what, or who, you think counts as dangerous.”
“You damn well know that Junior is dangerous,” James growls. 
“Oh, I do know that, Prongs. But I’m not. I’m not a threat to her.”
“We aren’t talking about this right now, Padfoot. She is actually in danger right now!” 
“Should we be concerned that their names aren’t moving?” Peter asks, still looking at the map. “Neither one has even shifted so they aren’t walking around or nothing.”
The two boys look over at Peter, anger fading from their faces and being replaced with fear and concern. 
“That’s it. I’m going to get her,” James announces, moving for the door before Remus stops him.
“Like hell you are,” he says firmly. “In case you’re more dense than I think you are, you’re not her favorite person right now. I don’t think it’s wise that you go.”
“Then who’s going to go? Can’t really ask Lily to go fetch her without explaining the map.”
“Padfoot, you go see if she’s okay,” Remus decides. “Just… don’t overreact to whatever you’re walking into.”
Sirius doesn’t need to be told twice. He slips out of the door behind Remus, shooting James a gloating face. Once the door is closed, Remus lets James go. 
“Tell me how Padfoot is going to handle that situation better than I would,” James demands. 
“First off, you would walk in and blast Junior off the tower. Don’t act like you wouldn’t. And like I said, she is still angry with you. You going would only make things worse between you two,” Remus starts to explain. “Second, it would’ve been best if I went, but then I’d be leaving you and Padfoot alone and I didn’t feel like returning to a blood bath.”
James frowns, although he could see the logic behind Remus’ actions. He doesn’t need to ask why they didn’t send Peter; he didn’t have what it might take to get you away from Barty if it came to that. 
Sirius’ stomach churns when he sees Barty’s arm around you. You appear to be willingly leaning into his side. You are sitting at the edge of the platform, legs hanging over the edge and resting against the bars. Keeping quiet as he lingers in the doorway, he can hear you having a whispered conversation. You were sniffling. After a few minutes of watching them and feeling sick, Sirius makes his presence known.
“Hey, pumpkin,” he says softly, causing both of them to jump at the sound of his voice. “Everyone’s looking for you.”
Barty glares at Sirius. They had never gotten along, especially with Barty being one of Regulus’ closer friends. 
“Piss off, Black. We’re having a conversation,” he spits, still holding onto you although it was a looser grip. 
You had turned your body and propped one of your legs up on the platform. You wipe your nose and sniffle. Now that you were looking at Sirius, he could see that your eyes were red and puffy from crying. 
“Everyone can piss off, actually,” you say, voice shaky. “They can handle a night without me.”
You let your leg fall back over the edge as you turn back to looking over the horizon. Barty follows suit. Sirius walks closer to you and sits down only a short distance away, resting his back against a pillar. 
“Well, I’m not going back without you. So, carry on. I’ll walk you back when you’re ready.”
You roll your eyes and shake your head, not that Sirius saw either. 
“Black, I would’ve thought by now you’d be able to tell when you aren’t wanted,” Barty says, venom dripping from his words. “Get out of here before I make you.”
“Last I checked, she was more my friend than yours,” Sirius replies. 
“Guess you haven’t checked recently.”
Sirius narrows his eyes at Barty as his arm pulls her waist closer to his. 
“Guess fate is being extra cruel tonight,” Barty mutters to you and you nod in agreement. “I’m going to be fine, but are you?”
“Eventually, I assume,” you say. “I just feel defeated, and that doesn’t help.” 
“What did I do?” Sirius asks, knowing that he was what you were referring to.
You and Barty look over at him. 
“The fact that you have to ask…” you sigh with a sniffle. 
“Do you want me to go?” Barty asks.
“Yes,” Sirius answers.
“I wasn’t asking you, Black,” Barty snarls. “Potter? I’m not leaving you with him unless you ask me to.”
Sirius gapes at Barty. The Slytherin seemed genuinely concerned to leave you alone with Sirius, someone you had been alone with many times before. He doesn’t understand why people weren’t trusting him to be around one of his friends. He didn’t think he had done anything to earn that. 
“Stay,” you say.
The one word hits Sirius hard. He feels like he is going to throw up. In what world would you be asking Barty Crouch Jr. to stay? 
“What the hell, love?” Sirius asks. 
You shoot him a hurt look. “Burbage? Really?”
He groans and runs a hand through his hair.
“Is that what this is about? I thought we talked about this.”
You let out a cold and empty laugh. “We talked about this? No. You were just incredibly cryptic about some feelings you may or may not have as you let James run your life.”
“So you get with Crouch?”
You and Barty look at each other and make faces of disgust before slightly pushing away from each other, as if suddenly becoming aware of how close they actually were. 
“We… no. Absolutely not,” you stutter.
“I don’t… I’m taken,” Barty says. 
“He is,” you confirm with a nod.
You scoot back from the ledge, still sitting much closer to Barty than you were to Sirius. Barty does the opposite, leaning further over the railing and slumping like a rag doll. Sirius looks from one to the other. 
“Then what is this?”
“One upset person comforting another?” Barty offers.
“And you’re upset?” Sirius challenges, not quite believing him.
“You don’t seem upset nor are you comforting Potter. So that would leave me being the other upset person. Yes.”
“Whatever. Darling, can we go?”
“No?”
“Hey, come on.”
“No.” 
Barty gives you a wary look. Then he stands up, moving slowly toward the door.
“I’m going… to go. You two… need to talk.”
“Barty, no,” you plead. Your eyes looked ready to cry again. “Please, stay.”
“No, bye bye Barty,” Sirius says, standing up. 
Sirius claps Barty on the shoulder, walks him to the doorway and makes sure he leaves. Then he walks over to you and holds out his hand. 
“Come on, darling. Let’s go.”
You don’t take his hand. You spin where you sit to face away from him. Whenever he moved to be in front of you, you’d spin again. You know you are acting like a stubborn child, but you feel that you’ve earned that. He allows you to act like this for a few minutes before he gest tired of it.
“Pumpkin, come on. If you don’t come with me, I’ll have to go back and James will come get you.”
You make a disgruntled face and finally take Sirius’ hand. 
“What did Junior mean by we need to talk?” Sirius asks as you walk toward the stairs. 
“The Marauders need to get their shit together,” you say, not looking back at him and starting to descend the stairs. 
Sirius follows you, picking up his speed to stay just one step behind you.
“So it’s not just me?”
You stop abruptly. Sirius bumps into you and you have to grab onto the railing to stop yourself from falling.
“Prongs needs to keep himself in check. He needs to stay in his lane. Moony needs to stop getting a girl’s hopes up. You need to go after that one girl you like and stick to her. I’m tired of hearing about a new girl’s tongue down your throat every day.” You pause. You had brought their friend group’s name into it so you had to name everyone. “Wormtail… uh, needs to be less of an idiot. Get him a real sense of humor or something.”
“And you told Junior all of that?”
“Yes.”
You walk the rest of the way back to Gryffindor Tower in silence. Sirius isn’t sure what to say that would make you feel better so he settles on silence. You still sniffled a few times, but they were getting less frequent. You seem to be more furious now than sad, which was something of a win. When you enter the common room, you both keep walking to your individual dorms. You go straight to bed, closing the curtains around so that no one will bother you. Sirius is met with James, Remus and Peter anxiously waiting. 
“Took you damn long enough,” James says as soon as Sirius walks through the doors. “What did that bastard do to her?”
“Gee, no Thanks Padfoot, thanks for getting my sister back safe and sound?” Sirius mocks. His mind is still stuck on what you had said to him about all of them. He sighs. “If what they both said is true, they simply talked. She was crying; he comforted her.”
“What was she crying about?” Peter asks. 
Sirius makes eye contact with Remus. It seems like Remus knew immediately what she was crying about, but Sirius couldn’t bring himself to say it in front of James.
“Coudn’t get it out of her,” he lies. 
---
You follow the girls around Hogsmeade on Saturday. You don’t really care where the group goes and you are able to mostly drown out their conversations. Your brain is empty. It is easier for it to be empty than to think about everything that made you cry the previous night. 
Mary, Lily, Marlene and her girlfriend, Dorcas, carry their own conversations and manage to stick together as a group all day. They don’t seem to notice that you are in your head. They just make sure that you are still tagging along, not left behind anywhere. 
“It’s good to get out of the castle for a good, safe time,” Mary had told you this morning when she insisted that you come instead of rotting in bed all day as you had planned to. 
The group is heading back into Hogsmeade Square from Dogwood and Deathcap when they run into the Marauders in the cemetery. No one questions why they were messing around the tombs. With them, it is better to just accept it and move on with your day. The boys insist that they all go to the Three Broomsticks and end their day with as many butterbeers as they could drink. You, being determined to not talk to any of the boys, pinch the bridge of your nose as the girls enthusiastically agree. Lily hangs back as the boys lead the way to the pub.
“We could probably sneak back to the castle,” Lily mutters to you as you follow the group at a short distance. 
“So you’re delusional,” you reply. “James will most certainly notice you’re gone.” 
“They would notice you’re gone too… Don’t think I haven’t taken note of how quiet you’ve been.”
“I didn’t want to come here in the first place,” you hiss. 
Lily reaches out to grab your hand and interlocked your fingers. “Well, we can suffer through butterbeers together. And then rot in our beds tomorrow.” 
“Lily Evans doesn’t rot,” you snort.
You allow the girl to pull you into the Three Broomsticks after your friends. They somehow managed to push two tables together to accommodate their large group, which is an impressive feat given how busy the pub always was when students visited the village in troves. It doesn’t take long for Madam Rosmerta to get foaming mugs of butterbeer in front of everyone. The group sat divided by gender at the table. You made sure to sit on the same side of the table as James so if you accidentally looked down the table, you had a near impossible chance of making eye contact with him. It helped that he was at the complete opposite end of the table. Although Lily had said you would be suffering through butterbeers together, she is quickly engulfed into an animated conversation with Dorcas, Remus and Peter. Mary and Marlene were listening intently, but didn’t offer much to the conversation. James and Sirius appeared to be in their own world at their end of the table. You were content ignoring everyone’s conversations. 
You slowly sip on your drink, looking around the pub. A handful of Slytherins are sitting at a table in the corner. You somehow manage to catch Barty’s eye and you share a small smile. Next to him sat the blond Evan Rosier and he was throwing back drinks and laughing loudly. You could see what Barty saw in him. There was a certain lightness to him. 
“Mind if I sit here?” a voice asks, bringing your attention to a boy standing at the end of the table with a chair in hand. 
“What?”
You recognize him from classes. Davey Something, Ravenclaw. You never really paid him any attention. 
“Can I sit here? All my friends went back to the castle already.”
“Uh, yeah, sure. Davey, right?” you ask, pulling your mug closer to you.
He sits kitty corner to you, despite there being empty space across from you. You assume that he didn’t know that no one was sitting there. 
“That’s my name,” he replies with a smile. 
He glances down the table to the rest of the Gryffindors and Dorcas. None of them seem to notice or care that someone new has joined their table. 
“Anything interesting going on in Gryffindor Tower lately?” Davey asks, returning his gaze to you. “Most interesting thing to happen in Ravenclaw is a fourth year beat a seventh year in Wizards’ Chess.”
You chuckle and take a sip of your butterbeer.
“Oh, there is always something happening in our tower,” you say. “I slapped James. Argued with him in front of the entire common room. Sirius pulled an all-nighter for no reason. He’s also been snogging anything that moves in a skirt.”
Davey’s smile dips slightly. “Been snogging you?”
“No,” you say with an eye roll, before chuckling as you continue. “James banned him from being within a meter of me for that very reason.”
“That what you argued with him about?”
“Part of it. He’s been acting like I can’t handle myself. Like I had a simple chat with Remus and James threw a fit.”
“He got pissy because you were hanging out with his mates?”
“Yes! That’s also why he got slapped. Those were two different days…” You pause as you glance down the table. “And from what I can tell, he’s still on his bullshit.”
“Definitely is bullshit,” Davey agrees. His brilliant blue eyes looked deep into your eyes. “I think the whole castle knows how capable you are at handling yourself.”
“Do I really have a reputation of more than being the female Potter?” you ask, eyebrows raised.
“Oh, darling, you do.”
“Tell me about it.”
You take a drink of your butterbeer, draining it. Rosmerta is quick to bring around another one and one for Davey as well. You hadn’t noticed that he didn’t have a mug in front of him previously. 
“If you didn’t have Sirius or James as your perpetual dueling partners, you’d have trouble finding one in Defense class. You’re.. too good. It’s almost scary.”
You smile widely with a faint blush on your cheeks. You knew you were good at dueling. That’s why you went off to fight poachers when you knew where they were and didn’t bother buying potion ingredients that could be gathered if you ventured a little further than teachers normally approved. You had also been told by many teachers that you were exceptional at dueling, but hearing from a decently cute boy did something to your ego. 
“From what I’ve heard, you’re amazing in every subject. We don’t have many together anymore. But when we were younger, I remember seeing you taunt James whenever you got a better grade than he did… which was pretty often.”
“What’s the point of having a twin if you can’t be better than him,” you laugh. 
“Are you better than him at quidditch?”
You groan at that question. “No…”
“Darn. I was hoping you could make the Gryffindor team better.”
You lightly hit Davey’s shoulder playfully.
“Gryffindor is a damn good team!”
“Your seeker is trash!”
You take a second to think about who your seeker is. 
“Isn’t he a second year? Cut the kid some slack!”
Davey laughs. “But if he’s the best that tried out? I’m doubting the captain’s skills.”
“Too bad that isn’t a James diss. For some reason he wasn’t made captain this year, but he was last year. Quidditch politics baffle me.”
“I’d try to explain them, but I think they differ by house.”
“You’re not on Ravenclaw’s team?”
“I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have friends who are.”
“James likes to make it his entire personality so I’ve become fairly good at tuning it all out. There are better things to focus on.”
“Yeah? What captures your pretty little brain?”
“During the summer and over breaks, I’m a top-tier chef and baker. I honestly don’t know what my parents eat while we’re at school because I literally make every meal when I’m home.”
“You cook? Isn’t that what house elves are for?”
“Not everyone has, or needs, an elf,” you say firmly. “But, like, cooking is good for distracting my brain. Although I could be better in Potions…”
“You’re in N.E.W.T. level Potions. I’m sure you’re fine,” Davey assures you, placing his hand over yours on the table. “What else do you do besides dueling, cooking and looking beautiful?”
You feel yourself blush more. 
“Merlin, this sounds nerdy, but I really do love learning about obscure magic. Haven’t gotten my hands on any good books yet this year because they are usually deep in the Restricted Section and Pince has been watching it like a hawk.”
“Obscure magic? Very Ravenclaw of you.”
You were trying to not look at his hand that was still on yours. His gaze is fixed intently on you. You have all of his attention.
“I plan on either being an Auror or an Unspeakable after school so a deep understanding of magic is important.” 
“Look at you. Big ambitions.”
You look down at your empty mugs. You aren’t entirely sure when either of you had finished your drinks but apparently you had. You cast a quick glance down the table as well. You don’t know why you are relieved that no one was paying attention to you, all completely engulfed in one large conversation now. 
“Want to get out of here?” you ask, looking back to Davey.
He smiles widely at your suggestion. He stands up and pulls out your chair to help you up.
“Thought you’d never ask,” he whispers into your ear. “Lead the way.”
You take Davey’s hand and you head for the door. You make sure to bump into James’ chair. 
“Oops,” you say with a giggle before pulling Davey out of the pub into the autumn evening. 
James and Sirius watch you leave with equal looks of distaste.
“Where’s she going?” Sirius asks.
“Better yet, who the fuck is she with?” James follows up. 
The rest of the table turns to look but the door has already closed behind you. Despite wanting to follow them, Sirius and James return their attention to the group’s discussion about whether the foul smelling liquid from Gobbstones would cover up the smell of Amortentia. They hadn’t discussed the potion in class yet, but they had heard of the powerful love potion. 
You and Davey walk around Hogsmeade, weaving in between buildings. There’s easy conversation between you, nothing too deep or heavy. You can tell by the way he looks at you and lets his touch linger that he’s looking for something more, but conversation feels so platonic. It feels like two acquaintances getting to know each other, which is what it was. You can’t deny that Davey’s attractive, but there’s no draw to him besides a little bit of attention and maybe some revenge aimed at Sirius and James. You find yourself in the garden outside of the village, walking up to the platform that overlooks the Black Lake. The distant glow of Hogsmeade lights it up just right so it feels far more romantic. As you lean over the ledge, you wonder if Sirius’ method of snogging someone else helps you get over them. Looking at Davey, or his lip if you’re being precise, you debate giving it a shot. 
Then there’s a burst of noise that makes both of you jump and look over your shoulders. You can barely see the Three Broomsticks and the herd of people leaving it. It isn’t hard to tell that they are arguing. You can pick out James, Sirius, Lily and Dorcas’ voices. Both of you stare for a moment before looking back at each other. 
“What do you think happened after we left?” he asks. 
You shrug. “Not sure.”
“Don’t be rash!” Lily yells.
“I’m going to kill him!”
“James! Slow down!” Dorcas yells.
“When I find them, I’m going to kill him!” 
“And I’m helping!” Sirius adds.
“Like hell you are,” James resorts.
“There!” Marlene exclaims, her voice sounding more cheerful than the others. 
You turn to look at Davey nervously when you notice that Marlene is pointing in your direction and the group begins running. James and Sirius shrug off Lily and Dorcas’ grips on them as they tried to hold the boys back. The two are in a full on sprint with the rest of the group jogging behind them. It appeared that they came to the conclusion that none of them could outrun them. 
“Gudgeon, step away from her,” James snarls once he reaches the platform. 
Davey raises his eyebrows at your brother. “Why?”
“Because he bloody told you to, you git,” Sirius adds, heaving from running. 
“But why?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest as you turn to fully face them. “He came out here with me.”
“And you’re coming back with us,” James says. “Been a long day, time to go home.”
You hum and look at Davey. 
“I think I want to stay out a little longer.”
Davey smiles widely at you and then looks back at James and Sirius. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he throws an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into his side.
“You boys heard ‘er. She wants to stay.”
“James,” Lily warns as the rest of the group approaches.
She noticed before you that he had started to reach for his wand. James looks at Lily. 
“Lils, you must-” he starts to say, but then Sirius is ripping Davey’s arm off of you and picking you up to throw you over his shoulder. 
Your yelp of surprise is what cut off James’ excuse to Lily. 
“SIRIUS BLACK, YOU PUT ME DOWN!” you holler, trying to remove yourself from his grip.
“Ready to go?” he simply asks the rest of the group.
“Yeah, I’m good,” James answers, much more calm than he had been moments before. 
Davey watches as Sirius carries you in the direction of the castle, followed by James and the rest of the group. Peter and Remus bring up the rear, shooting him glares for having gone near you. While the girls didn’t seem to approve of how Sirius and James had gone about getting you away from Davey or why they had, they do seem to support getting you back to the castle.
“Sirius, are you going to put me down?” you ask, sounding defeated.
“No.”
“Why’d you leave the group?” Dorcas asks, moving into your line of sight.
“Too loud and hot,” you lie. You weren’t about to say that you were looking for a pretty distraction from the irritation your brother and boy carrying you caused you. 
“Just talk to us next time, yeah? We’ll leave,” James says. “Afterall, you know the buddy system.”
“I had a buddy,” you correct him. “Davey is a just fine buddy.”
“A buddy who just wants to get into your pants,” Marlene sings. 
“Huh?”
“He’s just looking for a quick shag, darling,” Mary clarifies. 
“Which is why we came to your rescue!” Sirius says.
“Rescue or ambush?” you grumble. “Maybe I wanted a quick shag too.”
The rest of the walk back to Hogwarts is quiet. Your ribs have grown sore from being slung over Sirius’ shoulder and your head feels light. At one point, you close your eyes and just listen to the crunching of leaves underfoot. 
“Alright, down you go, pumpkin,” Sirius says as you arrive at the entrance to Hogwarts’ grounds. “Figure you can walk from here.” 
He puts you down gently and all you can do is glare at him. You walk slowly into the grounds and the group takes that as a sign that all is well. 
“Marls, come on. I got something for you in the dungeons,” Dorcas says, grabbing Marlene’s hand and pulling her toward the castle.
The rest of the group follows suit, picking up their pace to get inside the warmth of the castle. You, however, keep your slow pace. You certainly aren’t in the mood to be sitting with them around the fire in the common room after you were literally hauled back. Sirius is the only one who lingers with you. 
“You alright?” he asks quietly, bumping shoulders with you. 
You sigh and look up at him. Damn those grey eyes and how warm they make you feel.
“Just tired of James acting like he controls my life.”
Sirius nods and takes a deep breath. 
“Come with me,” he says and holds out his hand for you to take. 
You hesitate. Your mind is screaming both to take it and to slap it away. How dare he offer his hand to you after being the one to carry you back? But, also, he was offering it to you, giving you the choice to take it. So you do. You take his hand and let him lead you down some stairs to a secluded area near the greenhouses. Light shimmers through their windows, giving the small clearing a subtle glow. 
“I think James would back off you a bit if I stopped listening to him about some things,” Sirius mutters, standing in front of you. A gentle hand tucks some of your hair behind your ear and lingers there for a moment.
He’s looking at you like he did that day on the couch, like you were the only one who existed in all of Hogwarts, in all of the world. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to understand what he was saying. All of your focus was on the hand that softly held your cheek. He takes a step toward you and before you can process anything, his lips are brushing up against yours. It’s soft and gentle and momentary. 
“I think I can tolerate him more if you do that again,” you mumble.
And he does. The second is still soft and gentle, but it lasts longer. It only deepens slightly when he places his other hand on your waist. Sirius is holding you with a featherlight touch like he doesn’t want to break you, but his hand never leaves your cheek. Inside, despite what you just said, he fears that if he lets go, you will disappear and leave him. 
“You could never be a checked box. Because you’re everything,” Sirius whispers.
“Then stop with your stupid list, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
"Good, because I think I like this a little too much."
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fierceawakening · 2 days ago
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There is ALSO the thing where when people are unhappy with an incumbent they vote for the opponent.
This is very likely a factor in what happened here as well. It’s stupid because Trump is not a normal candidate, but it’s how things usually work, so it’s not especially surprising.
Personally (and my opinion is worth as much as anyone’s which is very little) I think we should’ve been more sparing with “fascist” and freer with “weird.”
The problem with words like “fascist” is they’re so intense that people defend themselves against hearing what you meant by telling themselves it’s hyperbole.
It’s a common thing that happens when people are taken in by sociopathic con men (this post is NOT me saying anyone with a particular diagnosis is destined to be a con man, it’s talking about a pattern in people who are both things. How often they go together is a topic for a different post and if you want that discussion I’ll have it but not here.)
Such people have a tendency to tell whoppers. Big lies, not just little ones. “The election was stolen and we all know it” rather than “I heard about some funny business in Burpass County, maybe we should recount there?”
When a very obvious lie is told with confidence, people tend to tell themselves “no one would make that up. There must be something to it I don’t see.”
I know this is a thing because it happened to me.
I had an online friend who claimed to be intersex and to have and need constant expensive medical care related to menstrual bleeding that wasn’t fully exiting hir body.
The few details ze gave did not match anything I knew about any specific intersex condition, and I’ve heard of several of the common ones and know how they tend to work, so I should’ve thought “that sounds odd. I should ask hir what the diagnosis is.”
Instead, I thought “I don’t know everything about intersex conditions. It’s far more likely that there’s a condition I haven’t heard of that does this particular thing than that my friend is pretending to be intersex. That’s a super weird thing to pretend.”
It came out later that these supposedly elaborate expensive doctor visits were just zem driving off for a few hours and returning with tall tales.
Worse, it came out that there were many other lies, “I paid the rent” being one of them.
“Vote for me! I’m trying a radical new strategy to make things better for you because I come from a non political background” is much more comforting than “Vote for me! I have no idea what I’m doing, I want to oppress and harm you for my own gain, and I don’t care how many of you die.”
I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t lived through my own smaller version of it and experienced just how much of a heel you feel like when you knew better but didn’t say anything because no one would do THAT.
If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.
Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:
'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.
'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.
'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of voted was not valid.
'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.
'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.
But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.
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beardedjoel · 1 day ago
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omg! could you do 13 please? either for young joel (tho ik you don’t right much for him) or closer joel or neither lol but 13 sounds so romantic omggg
thank you so much for the request! i decided to do it for closer joel and i had fun getting back into his headspace. i was feeling a little rusty after all this time 😆 i imagined this is their first getaway together the following winter after they started dating. i tried to balance sexy and romantic, since you said it sounds romantic, which it totally does!
snowed in — joel x f!reader
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request: "being snowed in together and fucking in front of the fireplace". sent in as part of my 5k celebration! can be read as a standalone or with closer joel in mind.
wc: 2.5k words.
warnings: smut (pussy eating + piv), dirty talk, creampie, alcohol, soft dom! joel.
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You chew your lip for the umpteenth time, staring out into the layers upon layers of frosty white blanketing the outside. Your own reflection stares back at you in the oversized picture window as you squint past it into the dark, watching fat snowflakes flurrying by. 
“Starin’ ain’t gonna make it go away any faster, angel,” a deep voice rumbles in your ear. Joel slides his arm around your waist as he presses up against your back. It does wonders to ease your growing anxiety, and when he places a full glass of wine into your hand, you feel it nearly dissipate. 
“But what about the rental? What if we can’t get out when we need to check out in a few days?” you ask, that little anxious squeak in your voice grating on your ears. You silently apologize to Joel, even though he’s heard it plenty of times before when your anxiety rears its ugly head.
“Already talked to the owner. She says it happens sometimes, it’s no big deal. Risk comes with the territory, I guess.” It makes sense, the cabin being way up in the mountains, and it truly was the romantic and peaceful getaway with your boyfriend you’d hoped for before the looming anxiety set in of being trapped by the snow.
“Now, can we enjoy our first time goin’ away together, or do you need more convincin’?” You knew that Joel’s version of convincing might involve the plush bed you’d seen in the loft upstairs and your favorite satin restraints packed away in your suitcase, so you keep it in the back of your mind.
You feel a small smile creep onto your lips, the two of you still facing the window together as you take a large sip from the glass of wine. “It is kind of pretty when you’re not outside in it. Peaceful…” you concede, trying to shake it off. The forecast had shown that tonight was the worst of it, so you might as well try to relax and enjoy this rare evening of complete solitude with Joel.
“Attagirl,” Joel murmurs, planting a kiss on your head. You shudder at the contact, suddenly overly aware of everywhere that his body touches yours. Joel notices - of course he notices - and presses closer, hugging you tight. “I got a fire goin’ in the other room, and more where this came from,” he tells you, tapping a finger to your glass. “So c’mon.”
You follow him wordlessly, his hand enveloping yours, and all is right in the world again. One thing you’ve learned with Joel is that if he isn’t worried about something, then you definitely don’t need to be. Half a bottle of wine later, lounged on the floor in front of the fireplace, you smile dazedly at Joel, who is walking back into the room after heating up a frozen pizza you two had gotten when you stocked up at the grocery store in town. You’d spent the last hour cuddled up on the couch, music playing softly through the speakers as you two reminisced about the last six months together and what was beyond. You couldn’t believe that finally after all this time, Joel had managed to get time away from his company to treat the two of you to the romantic getaway he'd been promising. It was already shaping up to be everything you’d imagined and more. 
Your eyes widen at the sight of the pizza, your stomach craving something to soak up the alcohol, and when the smell hits you, you’re a goner. “Shit, Joel, that smells incredible,” you say, sitting up. He sets the pizza on a nearby coffee table, putting a hand up for you to stop.
“Nuh-uh. Back down. You looked prettier than a picture like you were.” Joel’s eyes rake over you as you pause for a beat before laying back again, pulling your lip between your teeth in a shy yet mischievous smile, one you know drives him crazy. Your outfit leaves little to be desired - a fuzzy, comfortable shorts and tank top set, and with the way you’re sprawled out, you know your tits are probably spilling out the top. 
Joel stands above you, and your heart races at the imposing figure of him, the mystery of what he’ll choose to do to you next. Joel has always liked to take the reins, and you’ve always been happy to let him. He toes your legs further apart, moving them until you’re spread wide for him. You tease him, snapping them back shut immediately, eyes sparkling devilishly up at him.
“No, no, sweet girl,” Joel says, shaking his head. He grins coyly, sinking down to your level and pressing your legs all the way open, knees to the plush carpet beneath you. “Unless you didn’t want me to fuck you senseless… have you drippin… ” he drawls, watching you squirm, your gaze darkening with need. “...takin’ my cock ‘till you’re makin’ all those pretty sounds I like…”
One of said pretty sounds slips right past your lips without any thought, a small whimper as you glance down to where Joel kneels between your legs. Damn him for using his mouth so well before it’s even on you.
“N-no, I do, I do,” you blurt out breathlessly, eyes flicking to where he’s tenting in his sweatpants. He grins.
“Y’always make it too easy for me, baby.” His fingers hook into both your shorts and underwear, pulling them off and tossing them to the side. “So wet already, angel…” he muses, slipping his fingers through your folds, making your hips buck at the sensation. You want more, you need more. The stress of the day had a way of making you more needy, more desperate for a release, and you knew you’d find it right between Joel’s legs. “What was it you were thinkin’ about that got you so messy for me already, sweetheart?”
“N-nothing, just…”
He kisses your thigh on each side, letting his fingers continue to wander through your slick folds before asking, “Just what?”
You breathe out slowly, trying to contain yourself as he prods at your entrance, dipping a knuckle inside. “The restraints. I - I thought about you tying me up to the bed upstairs.”
Joel tilts his head, smiling. “I’m sure we can manage that. We got a long weekend ahead of us,” he coos, pulling his finger out, making you immediately miss even the tiniest bit of fullness from it. When he brings it to his lips, savoring your taste, it makes you feel feral.
“Need you, Joel…” you whine, watching him sink his head between your thighs. “N-no, your cock,” you say, watching him light up, smirking as he stares up at you, his face only inches from your bare pussy.
“What, and skip all the fun of hearin’ you beg me, beautiful girl?” He huffs out a chuckle, the air breezing over your swollen, sensitive cunt, making your hips twitch. That only seems to satisfy him more, now burying himself between your legs, his tongue quickly working in flicks over your clit. You gasp, pressing your hips into his face, unable to stop yourself from grinding down into his tongue. You’re already close - the wine running through your veins and relaxing you, the romantic setting giving you a head start on arousal the entire day, and the fact that your sexy boyfriend was so eager to be between your legs was a lethal combination. 
“Fuck. Please, Joel,” you beg him, your pussy fluttering, feeling devastatingly empty. “I’m - I’m gonna - Joel!” Your climax crashes into you, sneaking up quickly and coming on strong, making your hips buck and shake as Joel laps at your cunt all the way through, until you’re trembling and limp again.
His entire body smoothly glides upwards until he’s on top of you, his nose pressed against yours as he goes in for a kiss, letting you taste yourself on his lips. His beard is wet with your arousal, and the sight of him - one you have seen your fair share of -manages to take your breath away. The flickering light of the fire reflects in his dark eyes, his hair messy and his smile lopsided and boyish, yet sexy at the same time. 
It slowly drops into a more serious expression, one hand coming to curl your hair behind your ear. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. You feel your cheeks grow hot under his attention and genuine compliment, even if you have lost count on the number of times Joel has said those exact words to you. A heart clenching, sentimental feeling grips you, making you feel like the luckiest girl alive to be here with him.
You reach up to touch his cheek, the air suddenly charged with something deeper, more romantic. It’s a tender kiss, one that turns heated quickly, but it’s full of reverence for the other, for the history you share together. A warmth grows inside of you, moving towards a fever pitch of need as you wrap your legs around Joel’s waist. 
“Joel,” you breathe out, eyes fluttering shut as he kisses your cheek, then your neck, tasting the salt of your skin, soaking up your desperation for him. “Please…”
He chuckles into your neck. “Drivin’ me crazy, angel. Makin’ the prettiest little sounds, bein’ such a good, patient girl for me.” When he grinds his hard cock against your center, you feel every ounce of patience you had completely vanish into thin air. All you can think about is getting closer, of feeling full of the man you love, letting him work your body in the way only he knows how to do. 
“You need it, sweet girl?” he asks cruelly as your hands grasp at the waistband of his sweats, and you nod furiously, panting. 
“I’ll do anything, j-just… Need you to fuck me.”
You know for as vocal as Joel is, he likes to hear you too, and your desperation sets him off. His cock is out the next second and your legs, already wrapped around him, draw him in deeper. When he pushes in, every inch right from the get go, you both look into each other’s eyes as you gasp and hiss through your teeth at the pleasure. 
“Never get tired of this,” Joel mumbles, quickly finding himself a rhythm, each movement guided by your legs matching his thrusts, hips bucking upwards to pull him deeper. “Already squeezin’ my cock so tight, babygirl, you gonna come already?”
You can only whine out a moan, nodding for him. You really were insanely close to coming again, Joel doing all the right things with his cock as his fingers skim over your skin, pushing up your tank top. He squeezes one of your tits as soon as they’re free of the fabric, and when his finger brushes over the stiff peak of your nipple, your eyes roll back.
“M-my god… f-fuck…” 
“So cock hungry, angel, so needy,” Joel grits out, pistoning his hips a little faster and sloppier, caught up in the moment. He groans when the change in pace makes lewd, squelching sounds ring out through the room. "So wet..." he mumbles, his eyes closing as he basks in his pleasure.
“Y-yes, fuck Joel, you feel so - so good.” Your back arches slightly, legs tense and trembling around him, the heat flickering in your belly now a roaring fire, pulsing through you. Right on the edge, so close to jumping off into that bliss, you cry out. “Don’t stop! Fuck - don’t stop!”
Joel, not missing a beat, hauls your legs from around his waist, placing your ankles on his shoulders, folding you inwards. He then pounds his hips quickly as he grabs onto yours, fingers digging into your flesh with a satisfying pain.
“You want to not be able to walk the rest of the weekend? Th-that it, baby? Want me to make it so you can’t do anythin’ but lay here and let me fuck you for days?” Joel huffs out, and you let out a strangled cry, your hands clawing at his thighs, trying to find purchase on something as you feel yourself about to lose control.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” you scream as Joel thrusts into you harshly at a pace that boggles your mind even after seeing everything this man was capable of in the bedroom. Your release sweeps you away, your vision turning to a blinding white bliss as your eyes squeeze shut and your hips lift off the ground, your entire body spasming. Joel is relentless, making sure to squeeze every last bit of pleasure as you moan so loud you’re surprised the roof hasn’t caved in.
You nearly sob as the tight grip of your climax suddenly lets go, your body completely drained. Joel quickly pulls out, his movements clunky and frenzied as he flips your limp body like you’re a doll. “Hands and knees, baby,” he commands.
You make a small noise of protest, your eyes heavy and limbs shaky. “I know. You gonna be a good girl and trust me to do what’s best for you?” You finally nod, holding yourself up by the elbows, your ass popped high up in the air for him. “That’s it,” Joel says smugly before plunging himself back into your sensitive cunt in one swift motion. You squeak out a sound as your pussy pulses around him, the lingering pleasure from your last high already flourishing into something new.
“One more,” Joel says, leaning a little closer, his hand skating up and down your spine as he pumps into you, landing his hand on the back of your neck. 
“C-can’t…” you whimper weakly, but Joel squeezes your neck slightest bit.
“You can. I know y’can. You’re doin’ so good, angel.” He reaches around to your swollen clit, rubbing circles that make you keen and pop your ass out further, getting him deep at this angle. You feel him hitting that perfect spot deep inside of you that makes you dizzy, makes you crazy every single time. Nearly crying at the oversensitivity, Joel somehow starts pulling another orgasm out of you, your moans quieter this time as your body shakes. You hear Joel’s pleased sounds, gruff little noises that tell you he’s close too as he praises you through your high.
“Oh, so good, pretty girl, s-so good…” he strains out, slamming his hips into yours once more, coming hard with a groan. He pulses inside of you and you keep your ass pressed back onto his hips, taking every bit of him. Feeling him like this is always such a rush, that tiny bit of power you get to take from Joel, making him fall apart for you even if just for a moment.
You collapse to the floor, giggling tiredly as your body gives out on you. Joel sidles up next to you, laying to face you with his head propped up on his hand, rubbing lazy circles on your skin. “Told ya you could do it,” he says smugly.
“Ass,” you say breathlessly, laughing as you roll over to your back, clutching at your stomach. “I’m starving. Now can we have some pizza?”
“Knock yourself out,” Joel replies, watching you crawl to the coffee table, not even seeming to care about the mess dripping out of you and down your thighs - food was your primary mission right now. It makes Joel feel his dick twitch all over again as he tucks it away, knowing he won’t be able to keep his hands off of you for long. “Wanted to work up an appetite for ya.” You shoot him a playful glare from where you kneel at the coffee table, ravenously biting into a slice, then making a face.
“Cold pizza it is, then.”
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ghostlyglimmer · 3 days ago
Text
You're Grounded Mister
Summary:
A mission gone wrong leaves the Batkids bickering—until Batman grounds them and Danny Fenton, a confused civilian caught in the chaos. This one-shot is based on this post by Shower-Phantom-Ideas
It had all gone downhill fast.
The plan had been Dick’s idea—though Tim and Jason definitely could have pointed out the glaring holes in it, and Damian hadn’t exactly offered his usual dose of cynicism. It was supposed to be a quick, in-and-out operation. Minimal risk, maximum payoff.
But things got complicated when that guy showed up. Just some kid, and not even a vigilante or a rogue. It was supposed to be a straightforward job in Gotham’s shadier district—stop the exchange of a highly dangerous chemical, break up the bad guys, be home in time for breakfast. But, no, some civilian had gotten in the way and distracted the gangsters long enough to mess with their timing.
As Jason would tell it later, “It was just bad luck.” As Bruce would say, “It was complete negligence.”
And as for Danny? Well, he didn’t have much of a say in it. Not that he was about to back down from a bunch of armed gangsters, especially with the Batkids swooping in around him, leaving chaos and knocked-out criminals in their wake. Danny had handled a few of them before they even showed up, quietly taking out the last of them when Bruce finally stepped in.
And now they were here, a tense, heated argument in a dark Gotham alley.
“You should have waited for backup!” Bruce snapped, his voice slicing through their squabbles. “I told you it was a risk to go in alone—especially when we didn’t have all the intel! This is about safety, and clearly—”
“Right, clearly we were fine until you stepped in,” Jason shot back, scowling.
“It would have gone smoothly if someone didn’t just happen to be there,” Dick muttered, clearly feeling defensive.
“It was your idea, Grayson!” Tim hissed, his voice laden with frustration. “Don’t turn this around.”
“Maybe if you’d listened—”
Damian scoffed. “I could have handled them on my own.”
Bruce’s frown deepened, and he turned to Danny, who was awkwardly inching his way toward the exit.
“And don’t think you’re getting out of this,” Bruce said, turning his Batglare on him. “You’re grounded too.”
Danny froze, one foot halfway lifted in a tippy-toe pose. “I… I’m sorry, what?”
The Batkids stopped mid-argument and looked at Danny, then back at Bruce, then at each other, as if piecing something together. Dick’s face morphed from irritation to confusion; Jason’s went slack.
“Uh… Mr. Batman, sir, with all due respect, I’m just some guy,” Danny said slowly, staring at Bruce. “Can… Can Batman even do that?”
“Everyone in the Batmobile,” Bruce said firmly, ignoring Danny’s question. “We’ll discuss this further in the morning.”
Danny, still too stunned to process much beyond “Batman grounded me,” felt himself nodding along. Guess we’re going with it.
The ride was silent and tense. Jason looked broody, arms crossed, staring out the window. Tim rubbed his temples, probably rethinking every tactical choice. Dick was sulking, and Damian, surprisingly, just looked mad at being lumped in with the others. Danny, meanwhile, stayed very still, wedged between Tim and Jason, trying not to breathe too loudly. It was a surreal experience—he was tired, his limbs ached, and his brain was reeling from the absurdity of it all, but it was Batman. The Batmobile wasn’t exactly the place to make his objections.
By the time they reached the Batcave, Danny figured he’d try for some clarity.
“Uh,” he started, looking around at the cavernous space, vast and impressive, filled with tech and lights. “So, do you mind if I, uh, call my family to tell them I won’t be home tonight?”
The entire cave fell silent. Jason froze mid-complaint, Dick and Tim stopped sulking, and Damian’s scowl melted into shock. All four of them stared at Danny, and then slowly, like someone had hit pause, their heads turned to look at Bruce.
He seemed unbothered, glancing at Danny as if this were just standard procedure. But for everyone else, the realization was dawning. Dick was the first to speak, his voice wavering.
“Uh… Bruce?” Dick asked slowly, eyebrows raised. “Did… Did you kidnap a civilian?”
Bruce frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jason burst out laughing, doubling over, his hands clutching his sides. “Oh, this is gold. He’s not even a rogue, B. He’s just some random guy you told to get in the car!”
Danny held up his hands. “In my defense, it was Batman, okay? Who’s going to not get in the Batmobile when Batman tells you you’re grounded?”
Tim covered his face with both hands, muffling his laugh. Damian scowled, crossing his arms.
“This is embarrassing,” he muttered. “Father, you’re losing credibility by the second.”
Bruce’s expression tightened, clearly irked by the fact that his kids’ attention had wandered from the initial issue. They had disobeyed him, endangered a civilian, and now they were laughing because, okay, maybe he had unintentionally forced said civilian to join them in the Batcave.
He sighed, rubbing his temples, clearly rethinking several recent decisions.
“Alright,” Bruce finally said. “My apologies. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you don’t need to be here. We’ll get you a ride back home.”
Danny blinked, a little surprised. “So, wait, I’m not grounded?”
“No, you’re not grounded,” Bruce replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Jason snickered. “Damn, you got off easy. We’re grounded for sure.”
Bruce cleared his throat, and the smiles faded from the other Batkids’ faces. “Yes, you’re grounded,” he said, looking at each of them in turn. “All of you.”
They groaned in unison, but Danny, relieved beyond measure, was already edging toward the door. He nodded a quick thank you to Batman and managed a small, awkward wave to the others.
As he left, he could hear Dick muttering, “Grounded… from what? We’re grown men!”
Jason groaned. “Grounded as in, no solo missions, genius.”
Danny paused, letting the sounds of the Batfamily’s complaints echo behind him as he took the lift back to ground level. He shook his head, chuckling. Only in Gotham. Only with Batman would you end up “grounded” for just existing in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But hey—at least he got a free ride in the Batmobile out of it.
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phantom-0-writer · 1 day ago
Text
Tim stepped cleanly inside the room, and carefully shut the door behind him after checking if anyone was in the hallway. “What are you-” Danny started confused. Tim was acting very unusually right now. 
“I’m Red Robin.” He said.
Danny stared at him for a few seconds. Tim had expected him to be more shocked, Danny wasn’t like Damian and Bruce in the aspect of holding back his reactions. He watched Danny carefully and noticed that he wasn’t even surprised at all. 
His shoulder shifted a little, and a look passed in his eyes. He was relieved. That didn’t make any sense unless, “You knew.”
It made an irrevocable amount of sense. The stupid excuses he didn’t question, the easy slide bys on things that didn’t add up. Tim had wondered why Danny never brought it up with any of them. He was always quick to call bullshit on things but conveniently never on their mission cover ups. 
“Yeah.” He admitted quietly, findling with the small screwdriver in his hand.
“Why didn’t you say something before?” Tim asked. He felt a little ridiculous about it all now, “How long have you known?” Tim’s mind went back to the dining room argument from last night and he rolled through it in his head. “Wait, Jason knows you know, doesn’t he?” Tim blurted, “That why he- why didn’t I realize this sooner?” 
“I mean I know you guys can’t just tell whoever you want. It’s a secret identity for a reason. You guys didn’t want me to know. So I acted like I didn’t.” Danny shrugged. “I figured it out when Dick and Bruce were in Amity, and yeah, Jason knows. He also knows I’m Phantom. Cass knows too- not the Phantom thing. Or maybe she does, I don't know.”
“You knew the whole time?” Tim balked. All the effort they put in to hide the proof before he came, and he knew the whole time. Wait, did he say- “You’re Phantom?” Tim practically yelled. 
Danny blinked at him, “I thought you knew that.” He pointed the end of the screw driver at him, “Why were you guys so okay with him being in the cave then?” 
“We thought he was Thomas Jr.” Tim threw his hands up, rethinking his entire career choice. “I mean, yeah he was in Amity with you, but we figured it was like a guardian ghost thing since the time Dick met him that one time when you got lost or something he was the one- holy shit, you were following them the whole time weren’t you.” 
“You thought Thomas was Phantom?” Danny laughed, finding this ridiculous. 
“Isn’t that how supernatural stuff works or something. Like, you guys are linked because you were switched with each other and because you were with the family he was supposed to be with so he turned into a protective spirit to, like, watch over you or something.” 
Danny's look of appalment only deepened as Tim continued explaining. “Who told you that?” 
“I mean we just kinda figured it out ourselves based on past experiences.” 
“Past experience?” 
“With supernatural stuff the right conclusion is always the most unexpected and slightly irrational one.”
Danny snorted at that. “That is a really bad rule of thumb.” 
“Right, then explain how you’re the ghost Phantom when you’re also human and alive Danny.” Tim crossed his arms. He was trying really hard not to over analyze that right. Did that mean Danny was dead or that Phantom was alive? How could he be both? Well according to Schrödinger's theory- not now Tim. He should make a new file for this later and then he’d think about it. Alone. In his room where he could properly freak out over this. 
“Touche.” Danny clearly thought this was funny so no need to put a damper on the mood. Especially after everything that already happened. 
This information changed a lot of things. Tim would have to refer this back to the Fenton-Masters case. What about Damian? Did he know Danny was Phantom? Probably not, considering none of them had, apparently aside from Jason. It would be almost impossible for Tim to not tell him that since they were supposed to be working it together. Tim wasn’t sure how he would take the information. Not only that, but gave a new scope to the vultures that had attacked and the monster that had showed up from the pits. 
Later. File. Many lists. 
“Do you want to come to Mt. Justice?” Tim asked him. 
“Like the museum?”
“Yes and no. It’s also the Young Justice base. It’s top secret and no ones supposed to know about it.” 
“What! Then why are you telling me?” 
“Do you wanna go or not?” 
“Is that even allowed?”
“Definitely not.”
Danny raised a brow. “Then we can’t go?”
“It’s far but we can just take the jet. It’s like 30 minutes tops. We could take the zeta-tubes but then Bruce would find out you took the zeta-tubes and then we’d be fucked. Well, mostly me. But still.” 
“Wouldn’t he find out we took the jet then?”
“He wouldn’t know you were on the jet. It’s not weird for me to be going there since it is my team.”
“What if we get in trouble?”
“We’ll only get in trouble if we get found out.” Tim shrugged, “Do you want to go or not?”
Danny considered it for a moment before a grin tipped his face. “Yeah.”
“Sweet.” Tim reached for his phone only not realizing he didn’t have it. “I’ll let them know we’ll be coming around. They’re all already there. Tell Alfred you’ll be going out with some friends and then come meet me at Drake Manor.”
Danny seemed to embrace the situation now, forgoing his earlier hesitance. “I’ll wrap up some stuff. I should do breakfast too so Alfred doesn’t think anything is up. I’ll give you a heads up before I’m out the door. I’ll take my bike.” 
“Take the long way round since the Manor’s in the opposite direction of the city.” 
Danny nodded. “What about you?” he asked. 
“No one’s gonna ask if I go in costume.” Tim shrugged, “Speaking of costume…” Tim turned to where he knew the wardrobe to be, “Let me see your clothes.” He opened the double doors in the bathroom where the closest would be and blinked at the largely empty room. “Where are the rest of your clothes?” He asked. Danny looked confused by that, “Oh,” Tim realized, “You used a second closet. Smart. Is it in the lab?” 
 “No, Tim.” He said, pacing his words, “These are all my clothes.” 
“Oh. Why?”
“This is a normal amount of clothes to own.” 
“But it’s like barely covering a fourth of your closet. And that’s only because everything is so spread apart.” 
“That's because the closest is the size of a literal barn. Why on Earth would I need that many clothes?”
“I thought Bruce gave you an allowance?” 
“He did.” 
“Is it not enough?” 
Danny balked at him. “Did you ask to see my closet just to make fun of me?” He huffed. 
“I’m not making fun, I’m concerned.” Tim said genuinely. Did Danny not feel comfortable asking for things? It must be because they were keeping so many secrets and he thought they didn’t trust him. This clearly ran deeper than Tim originally thought. 
Danny shoved his hand in Tim’s face, pushing him back. “Can we get back to the point?”
“Right.”
--- later ---
“Give it back!” 
“No, I had it first!
“Nu-uh. I just put it down for like two seconds when you grabbed it.” 
“You were gone for the whole round.” 
“Where’s the controller you had before?” 
“It died.” 
“There's a bunch of other ones in the drawer.” 
“You can have one from there, then.” 
“No! I want the one I had back.” Tim insisted. 
“No.” Danny moved so he couldn’t reach it. 
“That controller is player 1, so give it back.” 
“Exactly why I’m not giving it back.” 
“Why would you be player 1?”
Danny looked so smug at that, “If you recall, I’m actually older than you which gives me sovereign right over player 1.” He said pushing Tim away. 
“That doesn’t even mean anything!” 
“Ah, to be young and naive.” 
“Fuck you.” Tim said, tackling him off the sofa. 
“What on God’s green Earth is going on here?” Cass asked, returning from their small intermission for snacks. 
Bart rushed up to join her. “Is Danny winning?” 
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No you're not! Give it back.” 
“Get off me.”
Kon was the last to come onto the site. “Guys.” He said seriously, “Superman’s coming. And there’s someone with him.”
Tim stopped trying to strangle Danny, sharing a look of panic with his team. 
“So?” Danny asked, confused.
“Danny, you're not supposed to be here.” Tim hissed at him. “Shit. How do we hide you from Superman?” 
“It was nice knowing you.” Kon said with a sarcastic smile. 
“How far is he?” Cassie asked. 
“He’ll be here in like two minutes.” 
“I’ll hide under the couch, he probably won’t look under there.” Danny offered. 
“He can hear your heartbeat.” 
Danny smiled widely. “I got it covered.” He said, pulling himself into the small space.
Bart giggled in excitement. 
“How-”
Kon gave a silent sign that Superman was here, sending a confused look towards the couch Danny had slid under. Tim’s phone buzzed with a notification. 
Just then, “Konner?” Clark called from the Mission Room. 
The team shared a silent look. They’d just have to trust Danny had this covered. 
“We’re in here.” Bart called even though Clark would already know that.
Tim put up two fingers to silently ask Kon if there was someone else with him. He received an affirmative. This was a horrible day for prospective teammate introductions. 
“Hey guys.” Clark smiled, then confused “Why are you sitting on the floor Red Robin?” He asked.
“I was checking something.” Tim said, picking up the controller Danny had been forced to abandon. 
“Oh, okay.” He nodded, not questioning it further. “I’m glad all of you are already here.”
“Are we getting a mission?” Cassie asked. 
“Sort of.” Clark said, excited. Then in Kryptonian, “ Come .” He said to someone behind him they couldn’t see. Tim couldn’t hear any footsteps. And he found out it was because the person Clark was introducing them to could fly. And Tim also found out that Clark had spoken in kryptonian because this new person was a kryptonian. One that Tim had never met before. “This is Kara. She’s my cousin. The entire situation isn’t all clear yet but as it stands we understand that her pod, while launched at the same time as mine, was caught in an asteroid belt and was only left free recently, when it landed near the Fortress of Solitude.” Clark turned to Kara and introduced them to her in Kryptonian and then added, “ Tim and Kon-el speak Kryptonian which is why I thought you would be more comfortable here instead of the Watch Tower. Though, Kon’s could use some work. ” He teased. 
“Hey, my Kryptonian is fine.” 
“Why don’t you try saying that in Kryptonian?” 
“ My fine is Kryptonian .” Kon said confidently. 
Clark laughed and Kara looked at Kon like he grew a second head. 
“I don’t even speak Kryptonian and I could tell that didn’t sound right.” Cassie laughed. 
Tim took his turn to introduce himself to the nervous and quite blonde. “ I’m Red Robin. ” He pointed to the symbol on his chest. “ It’s nice to meet you. ” He put out a hand for her to shake but Kara just stared at it. Maybe they don’t have hand shakes on Krypton. Since Clark had grown up on Earth he didn’t really know much about the customs of his home planet for them to have learned it beforehand. 
“ Nice to meet you. I am Kara Zor-el, daughter of Captain Zor-El and the Lady Alura. ” Then she stuck out her hand like Tim had. When Tim took it to shake Kara seemed surprised by it. 
“ You’ll be in good hands here, Kara. I’ll be back to check on you later but if you need anything Kon or any of the others can get a hold of me for you, okay ?” Clark said softly trying to gauge if she’d actually be okay here without him. 
Kara started at Clark for a moment like she was processing what he’d said, “ Why will anyone need to hold you? ” 
“Oh.” Clark pondered it, “ It’s an Earth phrase. It just means that they’ll send me a message or contact me if you feel like you want me to come back. ” 
Kara took another pause to process and then, “ I see. ” And does a hand gesture that Tim didn’t understand. And neither did Clark. No one commented on it. 
After Clark left the atmosphere of the room went stale. Danny was still under the couch and they weren’t sure how willing Kara would be to not tell Clark about it. But they couldn’t leave Kara. And Tim’s phone was buzzing with notifications that he did not want to check because he recognized the haptics of the health app he had. The one that had everyone, including Danny’s, vitals. Danny, who Tim was pretty sure had just stopped his heart for the entire duration of Clark being here. Which had been a very long duration.
Kara looked between them, confused. “ Is there something meant to be done? ” 
“ How’s your english, Kara?” Tim asked.
“ Only a little . Kal-El said it will take time .” 
“ Langage harding learn. ” Kon nodded. Kara lipped his words back to herself trying to make sense of it. 
“What do we do about our stowaway?” Cass whispered to Tim. She didn’t speak Kryptnoian, but she understood enough to know what Tim had asked. 
“I could dash him out. Maybe we could spend the day together at the mall and then we’ll be best friends and then he won’t want to hang with Tim anymore because he’d rather hang out with me because I’m so much more fun.” Bart said all in one breath, his words afterwards speeding up too fast for Tim to make any sense of. 
“She’ll know something’s up. We need to test her loyalty.” Tim strategized while Kon attempted to keep Kara in conversation. 
“How? And why haven't any of the supes been able to hear him yet?” Cassie asked. 
Bart took a pause on his earlier ramblings to make Tim’s life more difficult. “Oh it’s because he’s not breathing. Isn’t that so cool.” 
Cassie shot Tim an alarmed look. “He’s a meta.” Tim said off handedly, “Can we focus?” 
“Are you aware that your brother might be suffocating to death? In fact, we may need to hide a corpse and I sure as hell would love to hear how you're going to explain that away at family dinner.” 
“Oh, don’t worry Danny’s fine.” Bart said flippantly. “Danny, if you can hear us, make the room one degree colder.” 
Tim couldn’t feel anything but Kon and Kara did. Kara eyed the room confused about the change but fortunately she didn’t comment on it. 
“So cool.” Bart whistled, lapping the room. 
“Convinced yet?” Tim asked Cassie.
“He’s an ice meta how- you know what, I don’t want to know. So how are we going to test our warden?” 
The lounge room was decorated to look like a regular living room, including hanging “family pictures” on the wall. Everyone on the wall was in costume, for security reasons, but they were actual nice pictures of the team and their mentors. Tim pulled out a batarang from his pocket, and played around with it for a while, talking aloud about random things. It only needed to sound like a real sentence since Kara couldn’t understand what he was saying anyway. Then the batarang “slipped” out of his hand landing right in one of the larger framed pictures. The impact was loud and the glass of the frame shattered and spilled on the floor. 
Cassie didn’t have to fake her flinch in surprise at that, turning to Tim alarmed. Tim adding to the performance acted shocked. Kara and Kon obviously hadn’t missed the commotion and their conversation stopped. Kara looked at the destruction of the frame, analyzing Tim and Cassie’s reaction.  
“Dude.” Bart turned to him wide-eyed, stopping in his tracks, “We’re so dead.” Kara didn’t speak english, sure, but the dread in Bart’s voice was obvious enough. 
“Why did you do that?” Cassie scolded, “That was Red Tornado's favorite.” 
Tim held his head in his hands dramatically, then he let realization dawn on his features. Slowly he turned to face Kara. “ I’ll get in really big trouble if Kal-El or anyone finds out. I can hide it, but you won’t tell will you? ” He made himself sound really worried. 
“ Won’t it be noticed? The image is large .” Kara asked. She was beginning to share their concern on her face, but that didn’t necessarily mean that she would keep her mouth shut about it.
“ Clean up can. ” Kon said in a reassuring tone. Kara looked at him sideways, clearly confused. 
“ They don’t really come in here often so we can pass it off. But you can’t tell. ” Tim told her. 
Kara looked like she was having a hard time understanding him as well. An easier time than with Kon for obvious reasons but still not an easy time. Tim couldn’t understand why since he had made sure their Kryptonian was in perfect condition. “ Pass it off? ” She echoed, confused. 
Kara must not have understood the phrase.“ Pretend like it didn’t happen .” Tim explained. 
She thought about it and nodded. “ An Earth phrase? ” 
“ Yes. ” 
Kara didn’t answer right away and Tim wasn’t sure if it was because she was still deciphering what he’d said or if she was thinking about telling. “ I will not tell Kal-El or his associates since no one was hurt and it was only a minor incident .” Cassie and Bart had already cleaned up most of the mess why Tim talked to Kara. Tim had made sure to hit the frame so only the glass would be shattered and the actual picture was mostly unharmed except for the small tear in the corner. That would be easy enough to cover up. 
Kara's body language was stiff and she was watching everything very carefully. It wasn’t strange since she had been left with a group of strangers in a new environment and she didn’t speak the local language. She seemed around Tim’s age or maybe a little older. Kara was meant to land on Earth with a mission to watch and protect Clark. This implied that she was of a status and position to receive missions. This meant she would work by a set of rules and report to a supervisor. The supervisor was likely Clark who was most likely to take responsibility for her for a variety of reasons. 
Cassie gave Tim a raised eyebrow to ask how it was going as she walked away to dispose of the glass shards. 
It would be a gamble. A deadly one. But if Tim made it look like Danny being here wasn’t that big of a breach of the rules he could convince her to keep it to herself. He shared a look with Kon. 
“ I’m really thankful, Kara. ” Tim says, smiling. He pulls out his phone and texts Cassie and Bart their half of the plan. “ We can show you around the rest of the base. Would you like to do that? ”
“ Okay .” 
“ Room fun lounge after work. Play TV on games .” Kon said. 
Kara stared at him.
“How about I do the talking?” Tim put a hand on Kon’s shoulder. 
“Why? I’m doing so good.” Kon said genuinely. Tim doesn’t respond to that. 
The tour lasted minutes and Tim made sure to bide their time well so Cassie, Bart and Danny could be fully settled in before they returned. It would take a while for Danny’s heart rate to return to normal, and it would be better that he was all there before they tried to pull this off. 
Tim checked his phone when they were nearing the end of the tour. Cassie had texted him they were good on their end. 
“ Let’s go back to meet the others. They don’t speak Kryptonian but we can translate for you so don’t worry. ” Tim said. Kara seemed nice, it was the circumstances that were a bit stressful. But that didn’t mean they should let her feel left out.
“ This is your team ?” Kara asked, following Tim back to the lounge room.
“ Yes we do missions together sometimes. When we’re not working we spend time at the base because we’re friends. ” 
“ It is nice to have friends. ” Kara nodded. 
“ Did you do missions with your friends on Krypton? ” Tim asked. Maybe he could gauge what her position had been to see how she would react. 
“ Only practice. We did not graduate from training yet. ” 
“ Going what’s there ?” Kon asked. Tim had no idea what he was saying. 
“ What dialect does he speak? ” Kara asked Tim. “ I cannot understand it. ” 
 “ We learned the same Kryptonian, Kon just doesn’t practice. ” Tim laughed. Kon understood enough that he elbowed him. “ Are there dialects in Kryptonian? ” 
“ Many. You and Kal-El speak very… proper. ” She said sheepishly. “ No one speaks that way where I am from. Only in important meetings with outsiders .” Then she paused sadly, “ Mother always said it was important to learn but I did not listen. ” Tim had figured Kara spoke so rigidly because she was nervous or shy. This explained why she was having such a hard time understanding them. 
They reached the lounge to Cassie and Danny locked deeply in a game of rock, paper, scissors. Danny had pulled his hood back up and was wearing his cowl from earlier. He had picked one of the older models that covered most of his face until the end of his nose and past his cheekbones. Danny shot scissors at Cassie, beating her paper. Bart cheered loudly, throwing his hands in the air and Cassie groaned in defeat. Danny cackled as he took the last cookie. 
“Hey, D. When’d you get here?” Tim asked for the sole purpose of silently telling the others to not call Danny by his real name.
With a mouth full of cookie, “A while ago. Who’s this?” He asked, gesturing his head to Kara. 
Tim made wide gestures and spoke clearly in english so Kara could pick up what he was saying. It would be important for her to learn. “This is Kara, she’s Superboy’s cousin.”
“I thought she was his aunt?” Cassie asked. 
Danny didn’t look nervous, fortunately, and smiled easily at Kara. Then to Tim’s surprise, “ Nice to meet you. ” he said in perfect kryptonian. 
“ He speaks as well. ” Kara commented. 
“You can speak Kryptonian, too?” Kon asked. 
“Duh.” Bart answered. 
“Dead languages are my speciality.” Danny said pointedly. Bart giggled at that. 
“ Should we build a hole by playing a game? ” Danny asked, moving on the couch to give everyone else more room. 
“ Build a hole? ” Tim laughed, “What?”
Kara looked at Danny surprised, “ You know of that? ” She asked excitedly, her eyes lighting up. 
“It’s a phrase, basically like “break the ice’.” Danny answered, then for Bart and Cassie, “Do you guys know any games we can play?” 
“ You speak very well .” Kara complimented excitedly, leaving Tim’s side to talk to Danny. “ Did you also learn? ” Meaning is he a native speaker. 
“ Kind of? ” He laughed, “ You can speak more comfortably if you’d like. ” He gestures for her to sit.
Kara seems hesitant at first, but then she says something. It sounded Kryptonian but the accent was different to what Tim was used to and he could only make out some of it. To Kara’s delight and Tim’s further surprise Danny not only understood exactly what she’d said but even responded in the same way. 
It takes a while for them to settle on a game to play given all the language barriers. Kara spoke in what Tim learned was Standard Kryptonian but would often switch to her local dialect when she didn’t know how to say things. Kon and Tim could only understand Standard, and in all honesty, between them Tim was the only one who could speak it. Bart and Cassie couldn’t speak at all. 
They decided to play charades. It was awkward and hard at first, but they all got really into it by the third round. They kept the categories simple since Kara wouldn’t know any movies. Fortunately, she seemed to feel a lot more comfortable and talked a lot more, even if it was mostly just to Danny. There were times she would make an effort to say things in english. It was really broken but they all made sure to appreciate it and tried her best to understand. 
“I’m hungry guys.” Cassie said after her turn to act out her word, plopping herself in her spot between Bart and Kon. 
“Me too.” Bart agreed mournfully. 
“You’re always hungry.” 
“Should we order Pizza?” Tim asked, pulling out his phone. 
“I want pineapples on mine!” Bart said.
“Ew. No.” Cass kicked him. “I’ll have my usual.” She told Tim.
“Like mushrooms and olives are any better.” Kon snickered. 
“It’s better than pineapples.” 
Kara looked between them curiously. 
“Danny, ask Kara what she wants.” Tim instructed. 
After hearing them talk for the last hour Tim had finally been able to pick on some of the words but the grammar of it still eluded him. 
“ Everyone, something, something, food. ” Danny said.
Kara looked intrigued, “ What, something, eating, something. ” 
“ Something, something, like, something. ” He paused thoughtfully, making a circle in the air presumably to explain what a pizza was. “Something… ” Then, he pulled Tim’s phone to face them and pointed to the picture of a pizza on the website. “ This .”
Kara looked hesitant, “ ...Some…thing? ” 
Danny nodded encouragingly, “Something. Something, good.” He said. 
Glancing back at the picture, Tim could see on her face that she’d made a decision but she didn’t say anything. “Okay.” She said in english with a nod. “Have.”
“Great!” Finishing it up, “Kon, Bart.” Tim signaled. 
“Ugh. Why do we have to get it every time?” Kon complained, throwing a pillow at Tim. 
“I’m not going because I was the one that paid for it.” 
“I’m not going ‘casue I don’t want to.” Cassie said, kicking her foot onto the coffee table. 
“But you were the one who said you wanted food.” Kon complained, already standing up. 
“I could go.” Danny offered.
“You're funny. Absolutely not.” Tim shut down. 
Kara looked at Danny curious, “ Saying, something, what? ” 
“ Something, food, something, go. ” 
In english, “...Kitch...en?” She pointed in the direction of it and spoke in Standard Kryptonian, “ Is it not there? ” 
“ No. ” Tim shook his head, “ The store cooks it and we just have to give them money and take it from them .” He was careful not to throw in phrases she didn’t know.
Kara looked confused by the concept but accepted it. 
“Wait until she finds out about Drive-Thrus.” Danny joked to Tim. 
“I’m going to go check on the left-overs.” Cassie said heading to the kitchen.
Tim checked everyone's location on his phone. Danny’s was offline for obvious reasons, fortunately no one had freaked out about it yet. But he couldn’t be too sure. “I’m going to check on our smoke screen in the mission room.” Tim told Danny, “You’ll be okay here with her?” 
“What if we get abducted by non-friendly aliens in the five minutes you’ll be gone?” Danny’s tone was serious but his face was mischief. 
“I hope you do.” Tim scoffed, walking out.
---
“It’s just one slice, Red.” Danny tried to reach over his shoulder 
“No.” Tim blocked his food with his body, “You have your own.” 
“I just want to try!” 
“No! Eat yours.” 
“You let Kara have some!”
“That’s because I like Kara and I don’t like you.” 
“But yours looks so much more better than mine.” Danny whined, still reaching. 
“Lesson for next time then.” 
“C’mon, you’re not even going to finish it.”
Everyone watched them like a sitcom while they got to enjoy their food without meddling siblings. “I will. Just so you can’t have any.” Tim shoved as much of the slice in his mouth as he physically could. He was actually already full. 
“You're the worst.” Danny said, shoving Tim. 
“And you're worse.” Tim countered, pushing him back. 
Tim hadn’t pushed Danny very hard. Danny probably took harder hits during hockey practice. Tim had pushed him just hard enough that it forced Danny to take a step back to balance himself. Which was when he’d stepped on a wrapper Bart had left on the floor. Danny lost his balance and fell. But not before hitting his head hard on the metal fridge door behind him. 
Cassie gasped in shock. Kon and Bart rushed over to check on him. Kara watched wide-eyed, not sure what to do. 
Tim quickly stepped forward, “Hey, are you-” Next thing he knows there's a whole tube of ranch being squirted on his costume. His freshly washed costume. 
Danny watches Tim’s face morph from concern to absolute disgust with a deep satisfaction and cackles like the villain he is.
“You are such an asshole.” 
“Takes one to know one.” Danny’s on his feet and Tim chased him with a packet of garlic sauce that came with the pizza. 
Apparently feeling left out, Bart decided to dump his glass of juice all over Kon’s head. 
“Dude.” Kon shouts, but he’s quick to retaliate.
“Missed me.” Bart teases using the speed force to dodge. 
Cassie and Kara, the only civilized people here, sit and eat their pizzas at the island watching them. 
“They’re so dumb.” Cassie says to Kara, exasperated. 
Kara smiles following the action with her eyes. “ How fun .” She replies and they share a laugh even without understanding each other. 
snipbit from this fic
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nemisuki · 1 day ago
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Sunshine
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Jealous AU | It wasn't often you spoke to those outside your class. So imagine his shock when he saw you speaking to a random extra in the hallway. A short oneshot of jealous bakugo and an oblivious girl who is unaware of a lot of things… including their romance.
᧔o᧓ || Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader, no manga spoilers, no nsfw, pure fluff, minor jealous bkg but not toxic, aged up to third years, dense reader, mutual feelings, bkg pov, implied short reader, oneshot, bkg is mature and a softie, open ending, 1.1k word count
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He had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't mistaking something. 
His red eyes are practically boring into the student's back – who had the guts to approach you. 
A random extra from another course, a guy he's never seen before. So why the hell are you talking to him? 
As much as he tried, he couldn't look away from the sight. Who knows what they might pull on you. Bakugo can tell by the way the idiot looks at her, that the guy is clearly interested. 
That pissed him off. 
And what pissed him off even more is that she's completely oblivious of it. 
The girl didn't know how beautiful she was. How blinding her smile was when she saw something she liked.
How blinding her smile was when she looked at him.
If only she recognized the significance of her own feelings.
Bakugo could tell she liked him more than a friend should. Yet the dense idiot didn't know how she felt herself. 
He knew she unknowingly developed feelings for him as they started their third year. For someone as perceptive as him, it was easy to notice the clues. 
She clings to him despite his rough demeanor. And easily laughs whenever he grumbles a snarky comment under his breath. Always following him around both in and out of class. 
At first he didn't know what to do. He wasn't one to even think about romance. But her constant proximity threw the blonde off. 
Slowly as time went on, he found himself expecting to see her by his side. Feeling a bit uneasy on those rare days they didn't spend much time together. By the time they were halfway into their last year at UA, that's when he knew. 
He liked her too. As more than a friend. 
For the first time in his life, Katsuki Bakugo yearned for romance. Yet only with her.  
The realization only made him more agitated. Him growing soft for a girl? How ridiculous.
✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ  ⎯⎯ ✦
He was pulled out of his thoughts a few seconds later. The reason?
The sight of the other guy lifting his hand and picking a piece of lint out of her hair. Not a second later, taking the opportunity to ruffle her hair playfully.
That's what had him speed walking over there with purpose, “Oi Y/N!” 
Her head quickly turns around at the familiar sound of his voice, “Ah Bakugo! Good Morning!” she says with a bright smile, completely forgetting about the other presence behind her. 
That response alone, almost made his stoic expression morph into a cocky grin. Almost. 
He grumbles in acknowledgment as he stands by her side, looking back and forth between her and the extra close by. A silent question directed towards Y/N. To which she seems to figure out immediately. 
“Oh this is Kai from the support course. He had some ideas for potential support gadgets I could use to regulate my quirk!” 
Support course huh. 
Bakugo simply stares at the other guy, a calm yet serious expression displayed across his face. He makes no move to greet this supposed ‘kai’ or even initiate small talk. 
A moment of silence passes between the three of them.
Kai smiles awkwardly in Bakugos direction, a visible indication of how uncomfortable he is. “Erm- well I should be heading to class now. See you around Y/N” he says but then quickly leaves as he makes eye contact with Bakugo. 
Meanwhile the blonde's ego skyrocketed from his success of driving the coward away. His shoulders slightly relax from the defensive stance he wasn't even aware he was doing. 
“Huh? What was that about?” she says looking back at Bakugo with a curious expression. Tilting her head to show her confusion. 
“Tch how the hell should I know. Now hurry up. We gotta head to class” he says, turning around and starting to walk in the direction of their classroom. He doesn't need to look back to know she's already shutting her locker.
“Or do you want to be late?” he says, loud enough for her to hear. 
“Ah, I'm going. Wait up!” she says while proceeding to run to catch up. Slowing down when she reaches his side and adjusting her bag that's draped over her shoulder. 
He occasionally glances at her as she starts babbling about random topics. Though he's not really paying attention to her words. He’s eyeing the side of her head, the specific spot where the other extra touched her. 
Bakugo doesn't know how to feel. 
He's confident in her feelings for him. Confident in his own abilities. 
Yet being a boyfriend… is something he can't comprehend. What exactly makes a good partner? Empathy? Kindness? Vulnerability? 
None of those reside with him. 
He ponders for a moment and takes a look at her cheerful expression. Full of bright joy that could rival the sun. 
His feelings only seem to grow more by the second. 
Without much thought he lifts his hand and gently pats her head. She pauses her endless chatter and hums in acknowledgement, “hm?” 
“Your hair is all messed up from before” he grumbles while fixing the random strands of hair by patting them down in place.
They both halt in the middle of the hallway as she lets him finish. Giggling at the soft sensation of his hand. He raises a brow at her sudden outburst. 
“What's so funny, idiot?” he huffs out and pinches her puffy cheek, unable to resist. 
“It tickles! Plus your hand is really warm. Agh- hey!” she whines slightly at his sudden actions. Trying to pry his hands away and retaliate. Only causing his body to tingle at the contact. 
 ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ 
He likes her. A lot. 
“When are you gonna realize huh” he mumbles to himself. Showing pity and letting go of her face. 
“Huh sorry what was that?” she says smiling while rubbing her sore cheek.
“Nothing nerd. Cmon pick up the pace, you're slow as hell” he rolls his eyes and continues walking to class, not waiting for her yet again. 
“Not my fault I have small legs!” she yells out and jogs after him, already falling behind.
She can't see it but his lips slightly curve up at her words. What an idiot. 
A few minutes before the bell, they make it to their classroom. Bakugo ignores his classmates as usual and makes a beeline to his seat. Sitting down and taking out his notebook. 
He can already hear Y/N chattering away in the background with some of their friends. Yet a few seconds later she's already at his desk to blab on about something else. 
Some of their friends come over as well to join in on the conversation. 
But his eyes never leave her. 
He may not know all the aspects of how to be a good boyfriend but for her, he’ll try. When the time is right. 
For now he could only wait for Y/N to figure out her own feelings. Which frankly might take awhile.
But Bakugo isn't worried. 
Because he knows she'll follow him anywhere. 
And so would he. 
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ram-bles · 3 days ago
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HELLOOOO
I got a silly little ask, just a drabble from you would be fine 😁
Like- the reader (gender neutral) wasn't very open about their hobbies and such. One of their hobbies was like martial arts or smth (THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL ☝️☝️☝️)
Wellll, one day Jimmy (🤮) decided to try and touch the reader inappropriately and they just throw him over their shoulder saying something along the lines of "Do NOT touch me."
I KNOW IT'S CRINGE BUT PLEASEEEE, IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I saw you're writing for only Curly and Daisuke, but if you wanna you can add other characters into the mix. It's all platonic, just a silly little ask cuz I wanna laugh 😁😁😁
[ Tulpar Crew & Reader ]
Oh I love this one. Also this reminded me to update my list thank u 4 unintentionally reminding me anon.,.,. ALSO DONT WORRY I DONT THINK IT'S CRINGE !
gender neutral reader, it gets silly later on i promise. not proof-read. wrote this really quick.
⚠️ tw: stalking, jimmy being a little too forward and close
The day was pretty much mundane, like always. Everyone was in their designated work stations, including you of course. Though, something felt off. It had been like this for the past week, and you hated it. You even blamed your lack of sleep for it. It seemed like there was something— someone, watching and following you when you were alone.
One time, you'd even woken up to the sound of your quarter's door closing. You stayed up all night, not wanting to inconvenience the other crew members for what you think might just be all in your head. Well, that is until psych evaluation day came and you opened up about this to Anya who so easily believed you, but seemed so uncomfortable with the topic. You decided not to pry out of respect. She offers her company when you need it.
That same night, Daisuke offered to host a game session to which everyone reluctantly agreed to.
Establishing good bonds between workers is key to an efficient working environment!
Anya, Swansea and Daisuke were sitting by the sofa, Curly dragged a chair just beside the game table, whilst you and Jimmy sat beside each other on the floor. The game involved four players and the crew decided that whoever loses first has to swap with whoever hasn't played yet for the next rounds. The game was getting heated, Daisuke and Anya, neck on neck. Unfortunately, not the only thing neck on neck. Everyone else was too focused on the game to even notice what Jimmy was doing. You can feel his breath against your skin. You eyed the others in hopes that they would see. Too busy. Annoyed and grossed out, you elbowed his ribs in warning, glaring at him. "Jimmy, don't touch me." He seems pissed, but that doesn't deter him from getting his entertainment. Jimmy presses on and you swear you felt your eyebrows twitch. The balls of this guy to even do this here.
Daisuke throws the dice, the three leans in in anticipation as they watch it slowly roll to a stop and—
CRASH!
Some game pieces flew in different directions, two table legs snapping from the force and Jimmy's weight. It was radio silent for a moment. The crew having different variations of shocked expressions. You had grabbed his arm and flipped his body onto the furniture.
"Fuckin' pervert. Are you deaf, or what? I said do NOT touch me."
Daisuke threw his hands up in the air and settled it on each side of his head, frustrated. "Oh, come on, man! I was so close to winni—!" His whining ceases when Swansea nudges him, instantly shutting up and processing what had just happened. It took a few blinks for him to register and he eventually bursts out laughing and pointing at Jimmy. It took everything from Swansea not to burst out laughing as well. Instead, he crosses his arms and huffs with a proud smile. 'Atta' kid.'
Anya on the other hand slips out a gasp, covering her mouth. Mostly out of shock, and no sympathy for the man whatsoever. When the other intern started laughing, she had to bite her lip and look away to suppress her own fit.
[ History of glenohumeral joint subluxation.
It happened way too fast for Jimmy to even process what just happened. He spits out something hard, probably a tooth. His shoulder slightly stings as well, probably dislocated. He'll get back at you some other time, he can't get back at you when everyone else is here and that pisses him off even more.
Curly had mixed feelings. But of course, he prioritizes his role and he has to mediate everything first and foremost. Rubbing his face, he sighs and stands up, putting his hands on his hips. He calls your name and you tilted your head to look up at him. "I have to discuss... this with you later on. Please drop by the cockpit, yeah?" You roll your eyes and nod, pouting. "Swansea, could we borrow your intern real quick?"
"Shift's over, go ahead."
He gives the eldest a nod. "Daisuke, please assist Anya. Help her bring Jimmy to medical."
"Youuuuu got it, Big C." He finger guns towards the captain then stands up to hover over the co-pilot. Curly could only give Daisuke an awkward smile at the nickname.
"Never call him that again."
"El Capitano." Daisuke helps Jimmy up, making sure he's pulling them up by the injured arm, making the man grit his teeth and groan in pain. Before the guy could even cuss at the intern, Swansea continued bickering.
"Do your damn job."
"Yessir. Swansir."
Anya and Daisuke finally went off the bring the poor injured co-pilot to treat him. And if you'd like to know, Anya taught Daisuke how to pull Jimmy's shoulder back to place. Yes, everyone heard him when it happened.
You helped Swansea clean up the mess by the lounge and in apology, offered to help repair the table the next day. He agrees and even offers Daisuke to assist you.
Curly had to lightly reprimand you for your actions, but you'd explained to him what happened. The best he could do for you for now is lie on the report.
Sustained through occupational accident.
Employee confirmed inebriated while working.
Property damage docked to Jimmy.]
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iliketopgun · 3 days ago
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hi, my darling!! can i request “You getting so flustered is one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.” with evan buckley?
i have been obsessed with him for so long (lmao as if it isn't obvious-) and i NEED more of him!!
"Honey Honey!"
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Can I kiss your brain? I love this!!!!
🩷 "Nuestra Canción" send me some cute fluff prompts for characters that I write, x reader or my OCs are allowed.
Word count: 560
The prompt: "You getting flustered is one of the cutest things I've ever seen."
A/N: Never written for x reader before so here goes nothing. Legitimately don't know where this came from, deviated a bit from the prompt btw, I had a lot of fun writing this!
Warnings: female!reader, tooth rotting fluff, I totally didn't have Mamma Mia! on repeat while writing this (I'm lying so much), domesticity, curls are here, reader is a part of the 118, a curse word or two, Buck and reader live together, Buck calls his S/O "Baby" and other pet names, Buck is shirtless (yes, suffer), reader's favorite food is grilled cheese (if it's not, I'm sorry), kissing does happen, not beta read
Banner belongs to @/cafekitsune
Do not repost anywhere else or use it to train AI! This is my work! My own brain created this. Don't be a plagiarizer!
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Here we go! Safe under the cut!
Buck could've sworn he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the whole world. His girlfriend was insanely good looking. And her music taste was impeccable. Buck could stare at her all day and never grow tired of her. Yeah, to say he was down bad was a major understatement. But who could blame him, when you looked like a goddess?
Buck was making dinner when you came in from a shift at the 118, it had been a simple 12 hour overtime shift for some extra money, but it had been so uneventful, it took a toll on you. The utter anxiety for the bell that never rang that entire shift. You kick off your work boots by the door, putting your keys in the dish by the door and putting your bag on the floor, you'll get it later. You unbutton your uniform shirt and tug it off, leaving you in a white undershirt. "I'm home!" You call out as you walk into the kitchen of the loft, watching your boyfriend cook. Buck turns around, in your tiredness, you didn't notice that Buck was shirtless and he hadn't gelled his curls back. Was he trying to kill you? Well even if he was you were sure, you'd die really happy. "Oh, hey baby, I'm making your favorite. Grilled cheese." Buck says with a smile, it was adorable. So attentive. "Mmmm, I love you. You're the best." You tell him with as much appreciation you could muster. Your nerves were shot to hell and you just wanted to eat and sleep. Buck takes notice of this and guides you to the couch, wraps you in a blanket and walks to the kitchen, leaving you confused. "Buck? What are you doing?" You ask between a laugh. Buck puts the grilled cheese on a plate and comes back into the living room with the plate and hands it to you. "Eat. Wanna watch Mamma Mia?" Buck asks you, knowing it was one of your favorites. You nod as you bite into the grilled cheese, moaning in appreciation. Buck smiles at you and kisses your forehead. Buck puts the movie on and sits beside you on the couch, placing you in his lap and cuddling you. He was like a personal space heater. But right now you don't care about anything except food and Buck. The movie starts and you finish your food up after a few minutes. You get up and place your dirty dishes in the dishwasher before running up the loft stairs to grab your pajamas. You were walking down the stairs while adjusting your Buck's shirt when the beach scene came on. No matter how many times you watched it, it still made you flush like a little girl. Buck picks up on that. "Are you blushing?" He teases and "N-no!" You stammer, before playfully tossing a pillow at him. "You wound me, darling!" Buck says dramatically while holding his hand over his heart. "Oh shush, you're fine. Plus you deserve it for walking around shirtless!" You reply before walking towards him. "You getting flustered is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen." Buck says as you stand in between his legs while he looks at you with those cerulean blue eyes and you try not to melt. "Oh shut up, Buckley!" You tell him before kissing him.
The end!
I hope you enjoyed it!
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Note
I love how people are telling you to make your father a sword as if that's 1. An easy thing to do, 2. Feasible before Christmas, or 3. Cheap
Like, I know some hobbyist blacksmiths, and it takes them literally years sometimes to finish projects. At minimum, like, 3 months. It is November. Regardless, materials are not free, and that's not including the price of obtaining and setting up a forge.
Putting aside the fact your dad wouldn't appreciate it, why do people think this is a reasonable gift suggestion for you?
I am getting so many suggestions that make truly wild assumptions about me, my father, and our relationship, as well as my budget and connections in the blacksmithing community. Here's how Christmas is gonna go.
I will hand my dad and my stepmum a package containing a cheap sampler set of cocoa flavours and several inexpensive candles from Target. My stepmum will hand me a package containing probably some socks and whatever useful household products were on sale at the post office where she works (last year it was some unusually durable freezer bags with fun patterns on them) and probably a loose handful of chocolates or something. The card will say that it's from both of them but my father will never have seen these before because he never bothers with gift buying.
We will both unwrap our packages, thank each other, and pretend they were more thoughtful and individual than they actually were. Then we will dump them in the Big Boxes Of Random Chain Store Stuff that we've acquired from all of our presents so we can take them all home later and spend the next two weeks binging on cocoa samplers, loose handfuls of chocolates, and other random acquired consumables. For me this will be more chocolates from my aunt and uncle (possibly with a fun mug or similar household item, possibly without), a collection of calendars, journals and day planners from my cousin to go with the stockpile of stationary from her from the last few Christmases that I haven't gotten through yet, and a twenty dollar note in a card from my grandmother.
Then I will see my mother and stepfather and stepbrother for Christmas dinner, where we will exchange no gifts but I will very likely get to drink some of my brother's truly excellent vodka from his home brewery and my mum will serve a dessert that will cover my entire recommended sugar intake for 2025. And isn't that truly the best present of all.
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aealzx · 2 days ago
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Update Post
Prologue | AO3
Previous Next
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Danny was thirsty. And while that was usually a problem that was easily remedied by the water bottle that had been left for him on the bedside table, he’d already drained it. And the others were probably all in the kitchen having lunch, judging by the fact there was no one in the room with him other than the two dogs, and the amount of sun coming through the window. He’d woken up extremely late that day, so they’d probably decided to let him sleep and bring him more broth later. That was fine, he wasn’t really hungry, his mouth was just dry. As if his body was ignoring the IV stuck in his arm.
Oh well.
He knew he was supposed to rest, but he was starting to feel a bit smothered being stuck to the same room for a few more days. So going downstairs to join everyone in the kitchen for some water shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Everyone still got a little fussy when he got out of bed on his own. But trips to the bathroom weren’t that exhausting anymore, so he figured a slow walk to the kitchen wouldn’t be much different. He could manage it easily, he wasn’t even aching much at all at this point. He’d just take it nice and slow, and no one would complain.
With that idea stubbornly planted in his mind Danny pulled the quilt off and slid his feet to the floor. Sitting up always made him feel much worse than when he was laying down, but as the days passed the dizziness and fatigue was lessening more and more. And he’d already settled it in his head that he was going to fetch his own water, so after a moment of letting his spinning head still he shoved off the bed, grabbing the IV pole to bring with him like usual. Ace and Titus, as he’d learned the dogs’ names were, were quick to stand from where they’d been lounging, trotting close to Danny like they usually did. They were really good dogs, and Danny couldn’t help grinning as he reached out to pet Titus’ head a few times.
Okay. He was up, and he knew the kitchen was downstairs. He could make it there, and if he needed to he could take a break on said stairs. No big deal. Just one foot in front of the other, leaning on the IV pole for a little support. Nevermind how his breath became heavy shortly after he’d left the bedroom. Nevermind how the movement caused his numbed body to start protesting with bone deep aching. One step. At a time. Left foot. Right foot. Left. Right. Dragging the pole with him. He’d leave it at the stairs and just carry the bag once he got to them. It would be too much effort to carry the whole thing downstairs.
To Danny’s credit he managed to make it to the top of the stairs before his legs gave out, which was significantly further than the bathroom. And luckily Titus was there to dart in front of him and half catch him as he fell. He barely heard Ace give a short bark as well before coming to wedge against Danny’s side while he sagged against Titus, heaving air into his burning lungs. Okay, so he was taking a break before he’d planned, but that was fine! He’d made it to the stairs, that was still an achievement. He was fine. He just needed a breather. Just a short rest, crumpled on the floor and using Titus as support as the dog was laying patiently on the ground next to him.
“Danny?!”
Aw shoot. Someone had caught him. Who was that? The voice wasn’t completely familiar yet, but Danny recognized the figure easily enough. Once he’d pulled his eyes open and lifted his head enough from Titus’ back to see who was practically jumping up the stairs, skipping steps completely to reach him, Danny remembered his name. Right, that was Tim. The one that had been the first to introduce himself after Bruce.
“What happened? Is everything okay? The dogs are trained to fetch someone if you tell them to, did they not listen?” Tim asked rapidly, kneeling on the ground next to Danny and resting a hand on his back.
It took Danny a minute more of heaving air before he could answer, feeling just a little bad for being caught since Tim seemed genuinely concerned something was majorly wrong. It was enough discomfort that Danny tried to lighten the mood by making a joke. “D’didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to leave,” he teased lightly.
It didn’t earn the response he was hoping for, Tims expression falling instead of being amused. “No, that’s not it. We just don’t want you to wear yourself out,” he explained, wondering if Danny really did think he was restricted in where he could go. Bruce had made a comment before that Danny seemed used to being confined and potentially restrained.
“It’s fine. It’s just a walk to the kitchen. I can do it,” Danny protested. He didn’t need to be waited on for something as simple as a drink of water. He wasn’t comatose anymore, and he was quite capable of moving around. Sure his whole body ached, and his chest and ribs felt like they were being scraped with each breath right now, but it was fine. It would stop once he got his water and got back to bed. No big deal.
Tim seemed to realize something from that comment that made him sigh slightly. Danny was apparently just as stubborn as many others that frequented this manor. “C’mon, let me help you,” Tim requested, reaching forward to try to help Danny upright.
“I said I can do it!” Danny snapped, squirming away from Tim and weakly swatting his hands away. But of course his body had to disobey his will, and without support from Titus or anyone else he couldn’t hold himself up at the moment and flopped back on the floor. He knew it didn’t make his claim convincing, so glared at Tim and repeated his words before Tim could comment. Though the unimpressed expression Tim had said enough. “I can do it myself. I just… need a break. I’m fine,” Danny huffed, letting his body rest limply on the floor and averting his gaze in a mild pout.
“Uh huh,” Tim pretended to agree, voicing his disapproval this time, but surprisingly just shifted to sit on the top stair and loop his hands around his knees. Danny wasn’t sure if he was giving in and letting him try to catch his breath, or just didn’t know what else to say. But he wasn’t leaving, and Danny couldn’t figure out if he wanted to be annoyed about that or not. Tim was at least respecting his demands enough to not just ignore him and try to help anyway like Jazz did. But he also wasn’t sassing him for refusing help when he obviously needed it. The silence was a weird response, and Danny couldn’t figure out what his aim was.
Before he could think too much about it though, Tim spoke up again, a little softer this time. “...You don’t have to, you know?”
It was a simple question in construct, but one that Danny hadn’t been expecting. And it made his breath catch in his throat. He’d been expecting to be either met with equal annoyance, or coddled and told he didn’t know what he could do or needed. But that wasn’t what Tim was implying at all… Was it?”
“...What?” Danny asked, staring at Tim in open confusion.
Tim had to snicker as Danny copied Jazz’s mannerisms so closely. They really were siblings. “You don’t have to do everything on your own,” he repeated patiently, turning back to face Danny with a rather strange smile. “Just because you can do it on your own, doesn’t mean you should have to. It’s okay to let people help when they want to.”
For some reason the words Tim said didn’t catch Danny’s attention as much as the expression he was making. Like this was an old battle he’d fought too many times, to the point he was starting to get a little worn. “...Are you okay?” Danny ended up asking, having regained enough strength to push himself upright again.
Tim ended up huffing and rolling his eyes at the question. “Oh yeah, I’m great,” he answered, not even bothering to hide any sarcasm. “I just live with a family full of people who love to push themselves way more than they should and make everyone else worry about their ability to take care of themselves and not end up dead because they were too stubborn to ask for help.”
Danny couldn’t help the wince he gave after hearing that response. There was the annoyed response Danny had thought he’d get earlier. But for some reason the phrasing on this one stung a little more than any of the comments Sam or Tucker had made. Tim didn’t try to drill it into him that he couldn’t do what he was trying to do, just that he didn't have to. And it didn’t feel like he was trying to get Danny to take care of himself because there was no one to replace him if he was gone either. Just that he could ask for help because it was better to not do things on his own.
“I don’t…,” Danny faltered, trying to force himself to respond without having given himself enough time to figure out what to say. “I’m not… used to being able to…ask…,” he admitted, feeling anxiety building in his chest over saying something like that. It was like he was admitting his friends and family weren’t very good at supporting him. After they already did so much for him, how could he say that?
It wasn’t quite what Tim had expected, and what little frustration he had was quick to melt into mild guilt. He felt like apologizing wouldn’t be received well though, so he ended up asking something else that didn't quite make sense only after he said it. “Oh….You wanna… practice then?”
Danny snorted helplessly at the question that once again caught him off guard. It was an offer instead of a lecture, and it once again was too far out of Danny’s expectations for him to have a quick answer. It was a simple answer, he could hear it in his head. But getting his mouth to say the words, to ask for help to the kitchen, seemed impossible. So he tried rephrasing it. “I… the water ran out,” he admitted, already feeling embarrassed for some dumb reason. “I just wanted….” He paused, realizing explaining the situation wasn’t even close to asking for assistance. “I’i… ‘d like to go get some… myself.”
It wasn’t the most clear request for help, but Tim would still take it. “...Would it be okay if I carried you?” he asked, rewarding Danny’s effort by filling the gap in for him.
This time it was easier for Danny to nod in acceptance, and Tim gained a gentle smile before pushing himself to his feet. “Let me just grab a blanket and slippers for you so Alfred doesn’t fuss. I’ll be right back,” he requested, letting Danny stay with Ace and Titus to fetch said items. The bedrooms of the manor were warm, but the rooms with tiled floors could get a little chilly in the cooler months so Alfred would insist on Danny staying warm. Which meant Tim brought back a pair of soft slippers for Danny’s bare feet, and a small blanket to drape on his shoulders before he knelt in front of him to make it easier for the lad to cling to his back.
“...I thought you were younger than Jason,” Danny ended up commenting after Tim had him adjusted comfortably and had made it halfway down the stairs.
“I am,” Tim confirmed, not sure where the comment was coming from but having a vague guess. “I’m only a year older than you.”
Danny made a surprised noise at the comment, scrunching his face. “Wow, you seem older than Jazz. How come you’re so put together?”
This time it was Tim’s turn to snort, not quite sure how to answer that. “Uhhhh… perks of coming from a busted family? I dunno,” he guessed. “I’m just the weird one in a family of weirdos.”
It sounded like it was something Tim was still at least a little insecure about, so Danny decided not to tease him any more. “...Mm… That’s not always a bad thing,” he offered as consolation.
It helped, and Tim chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I guess not,” he grinned, quickly reaching the kitchen much faster than Danny could have on his own.
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This next section ended up waaaay too long, so I have to split it into 3 parts X'D
The nugget is mobile (sort of) yaaaay \o7o/
also I had some of this part written months ago, but it originally had Dick instead of Tim. But I switched it for Tim 'cause I wanted Danny to have interactions with others.
also I couldn't decide what part of the scene to draw, so let my beta reader decide =v=
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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @megacharizardx99
@bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai, 
@fanaroff, @raven1508, @nebulainajar, @serasvictoria02, @oliocelottafanfics,
@honeysuckletook, @omniithe-deer, @wolf-under-the-stars, @gingernutcalo, @that-random-fangirl,
@op-sys-chaos, @kirasigncomics, @ehobep, @paranoid-ira
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badly-drawn-doflamingo · 2 days ago
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Brook’s Past, Military and Everything Between [ An Essay kinda ]
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Brook’s past is not a thing many people seem to mention or think about, at least in full, however it’s something that's plagued me. Not only as a Brook fan, but simply out of the odd implications it has towards the future, if any. Oda’s planted too many seeds for it to utterly be nothing; there’s so much odd and seemingly out of place comments and facts stated by Brook and others towards this missing history. However, knowing that the show is beginning to near it’s end, due to time, I am unsure of what exactly will be done.
I believe however, for folks' interest and so we can have everything in one place, that compiling everything found so far can be beneficial, so, I have.
Starting with what we know for sure, Brook is from the West Blue, born 90 years ago to a certain kingdom, the same kingdom he was a military convoy leader from. We know this due to a few factors, however it’s still open to debate if it *is* the same kingdom, however seeing as he was shown as a child to already know what fencing is, practicing moves with his bow, I am just going to say he probably was. In any case, other things worth noting, on the topic of childhood, is that Brook seems to have had money. At least, stability.
Compared to a lot of the other strawhats, Brook is shown dressing very nice. No tatters, no tears, shined shoes and a full violin and bow. He also, as already stated, seemed to be exposed to fencing enough to mirror the moves. If this comes from his kingdom, it means he was exposed to it at a young age. Knowing that he was a military convoy leader, this could be taken that perhaps there were military demonstrations, perhaps the kid saw castle guard or other displays; it’s really up in the air.
We know Brook, again as stated before, became a military convoy leader. Now, the definition of what exactly that means can differ.
Wikipedia states; A convoy is a group of vehicles, typically motor vehicles or ships, traveling together for mutual support and protection. Often, a convoy is organized with armed defensive support and can help maintain cohesion within a unit. It may also be used in a non-military sense, for example when driving through remote areas.
This could mean Brook’s job could’ve been accompanying ships for protection, being a knight for his King, mediating information and goods that come in and out of the kingdom. This would make sense on why his speed was needed, a 9.2 ft man being a great choice for a leader.
His weapon also would make sense for this kind of mission, perhaps secrecy being important or at least the ability to be discreet. His cane sword, a ‘Shikomizue’, is not unique however to just him in the show, one other man using one that has been confirmed so far, that being Fujitora. The pair also share a sea, the west, and both utilize iaijutsu (quick draw techniques.) Fujitora blinded himself with said sword because of something apparently so cruel and inhumane that he rather not see anguish. This may be related to Brook’s departure from his kingdom, which is addressed later in this essay. (Fig 3-5.)
Another thing that’s worth mentioning here is Brook’s attack patterns, being unique even for his kingdom apparently. Once again, during the Ryuma fight, Brook states, and I quote;
“Ryuma: “Now tell me, what part of that wretched excuse for a body would you like me to severe with my special ‘Arrow Notch Slash?’ Brook: You don’t know a thing about that move, so do not use it’s name. I use to serve in my kingdom’s raider squad. The quick draw attack that I was most skilled at was ‘Requiem Lebanderole’. My comrades-in-arms renamed it in regards to my fighting technique.”
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(Fig. 1, Brook explains his raider squad and move names. A banderole mind you is a long flag for BATTLE crusades. )
This sets up a few interesting facts. 1. Brook was in a raider squad, a kingdom’s group of marauders, as well as if not the same job as convoy leader. 
2. His techniques were unique to him, or at least specialized to a degree of having a nickname. 3. As expected, he seems to have been close to these men he commanded, adding another layer over Brook loosing the Rumbars. Being in both a raider squad and being a convoy leader at one point, if not the same point, implies either Brook was simply versatile, acting in both in separate years or periods. Or, the most likely, that he was higher ranking than expected, making him a CO, or commanding officer. (Lieutenant Colonel is another equal rank for scale, making Brook just below a Major.) This makes him quite the important figure, especially for a kingdom that seems to value its military so much, so much so that a child of Brook’s age would already know about their style of fencing, as expressed already. Brook’s devil fruit is worth mentioning here, the revive-revive fruit not likely to be found by a crew like the Rumbars. It is spoken about as if he has always had it amongst the crew, being a fact of life. However, when did he get that fruit and why? I propose where it would be useful; in combat. If your military convoy leader, your best swordsman could be shot and come right back to protect the king, would he not be utterly invaluable? You would never let him leave… But he DID leave. It’s not said why, however we have some extra tidbits of information that may tell us why, and that ALSO may tell us the answer to what kingdom he means.
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( Fig. 2. Brook states his leaving of the military for unknown reasoning, the word certain being used in an odd way, establishing his bounty.) This bounty mind you all is in fact, using inflation method, 297,000,000 berries. That is a MASSIVE bounty for just a pirate. Perhaps a certain blond stole a treasure a kingdom could not replace; their convoy leader. Lets rewind for a moment and cover something that may be seen as off topic however I will come right back to the subject at hand; Calico Yorki. Yorki is an odd bird, pirate wise. He makes his crew read his bounties and information, is never shown to play an instrument/sing but makes his crew preform/they all do, and makes Brook make him dinner. (Steak, and Brook continues to be able to make it as confirmed by an SBS.) What is oddest yet, other than his large crew and shirtless habits, is his nature. A man that set to sea to play music for “orphans and crying children” as stated by himself; a crew made for “any men who love music.” Now, I could be reading into this too hard, however from his speech patterns, to this apparent need for a large family, it seems that singing to orphans may be a very personal goal. An orphan turned pirate perhaps, with lofty dreams and a heart of gold, it reads to me that Yorki may have been just that. Knowing this, orphan or not, we now can compare these facts to Brook’s life up until their meeting. A child who probably grew up being taught to fight, being around access to education, expenses and the kingdom’s training. Why would a man like Brook ever join a man like Yorki, and if it’s only music, would that not make Brook a deserter? I do not think that is the case. I will now bring forward some interesting evidence regarding Brook’s kingdom and WHY he would leave. Germa 66. During Zou to Whole Cake, a few mentions of Germa are made with Brook around, garnering interesting reactions indeed.
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( Fig. 3. Brook listens but chooses not to add anything utter than silence, his music pausing as well.) This silence could be take as simple ignorance, however Brook later admits he knows of the kingdom, in fact, he knows a lot. A lot more than anyone else did, Reiju admitting interest in his knowledge and once again, Brook brushes it off.
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(Fig 4, 5, Brook speaks about Germa 66.) He seems to underplay or simply not elaborate a LOT on his kingdom, as if something happened. Perhaps joining Yorki was not out of simple cowardice or need to be free, (which again if he did would both reflect poorly upon his entire character and not be in character for him what so ever,) but in fact, out of necessity. It could have been Germa 66, it could have been some other grouping, however I believe this will come to be something important. The kingdom possibilities are interesting as well, and I will list the following LIKELY possibilities. (Other options are known to not be military, like Ohara, or literally places like Thriller Bark itself.) - Toroa - God Valley - Illsia Kingdom - Soja Kingdom The most likely candidates, because again, it is labeled as certain kingdom (Fig 2.) is Toroa or Soja, however I will personally lean into Toroa. This is because of a man by the named of Byron.
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(Fig 6. Byron and his information.) His nose and face shape vaguely resemble Brook, however honestly that is a stretch. What is NOT however is his familiar attire, family line and the placement of his kingdom. This could easily be Brook’s home, however again, this is just speculation. Brook very well could belong to God’s Valley, or the same kingdom as Issoh, fleeing because of something he did not agree with or literally could not stand any longer. But, that falls under possibility, not fact. This concludes the facts section, now comes the final question; What does it mean for the story? And, honestly, that can be debated. What Oda has done is plant odd seeds of information about the man, similar to Sanji and his ties to Vinsmoke, that have not been addressed nor talked about in full, or so I’ve found sufficiently. These seeds MAY bloom into what I hope will be a tie into some huge reveal, perhaps aid from a past member of his convoy or kingdom, or perhaps this will only spark conflict. Perhaps it will be minute, Brook being able to aid due to his knowledge, the man already in Thriller Bark showing his prowess by being able to command the strawhats into defeating zombies via salt and tactic. In any case, we can only hope these things mean anything, tied into some huge story that could explain why a man like him would quit for a redneck like Yorki, other than perhaps love, and what kingdom would let a man like him go willingly.
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janeyseymour · 2 days ago
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Stolen For Love
an anon asked for Ellie with Sweet Cheeks, so bringing this sweet little family back... and @notinmyvocab just wanted Sweet Cheeks in general... so I present to you, fluff.
WC: ~3.7k
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When Ellie is in second grade, she’s placed in Janine’s classroom. With Melissa being her mother, it wasn’t in the question to put her in your wife’s classroom; apparently nepotism and favoritism is something that Abbott takes seriously- one of the few things that your school takes seriously. You supposed that it would be quite odd for your daughter to be in your class next year too, although you hope to God that your grade level partner does well with her. 
It’s also the year that Janine has somehow managed to convince the district to give you funds for class pets.
At first, Melissa had been beyond resistant to the idea. You begrudgingly took in a hamster. You had to choke back your laughter when Gregory was ecstatic to get his requested pet rock.
You’re fairly certain that your wife was in the clear in terms of getting a pet- Janine hadn’t said anything else to you in regards to the fact that the redhead wanted nothing to do with a pet. 
But then, just by chance, Melissa ends up passing the library while her counterpart is still handing out animals. She calls for your wife. And for some unknown reason, the redhead makes her way in. She exits with a guinea pig. And she looks pissed beyond belief.
You take your little rodent with you to catch up with the woman with a significantly bigger rodent. “Hun, I thought you said that weren’t going to give in even if Janine tried to push it on you.”
She huffs. “Yeah, well… her kids were talking to mine the other day when she was prepping her kids for it, and now… I look like the asshole if I don’t give my kids a stupid ass class pet.”
You smile at her sympathetically. “Trust me, I don’t want it either, but…”
“I can’t believe I was happy when pipsqueak decided to come back to Abbott,” your wife grumbles. 
“Hey,” you nudge her gently. “You love her.”
“She’s damn lucky.”
“And I heard her say that she would take care of it for you.”
“An’ if she doesn’t keep her end of the deal up, I’m gonna end up with a dead guinea pig and a class full of sad kids.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “I’m sure that Janine will go above and beyond for that guinea pig of yours. She tries to go above and beyond in everything she does.”
“Yeah,” your wife huffs. “That’s how we got into this stupid mess in the first place.”
Come the end of the day, your third graders are absolutely infatuated with that little rodent on yours in the classroom. They’ve named her Squeaky- how original. Each one of your students passes by the cage with a sweet “Have a good night, Squeaky!” as you lead them out to the front of the school for dismissal.
Melissa comes out with her students not much later, and she looks beyond pissed. You have to say, you didn’t think a guinea pig would disrupt her class flow as much as she’s making it seem it is. You make your way over with a smile, hoping that will soften her up before you go home for the night.
“How was the rest of your day?” you tread waters lightly. She just presses a soft kiss to your head in response.
Ellie comes bouncing over with the brightest grin on her face. “Moms!” She launches herself at you- you catch her; you always do.
“Hi, my sweet,” you bury a kiss in her wild hair. “How was school today?”
“Miss Teagues got us a guinea pig! Her name is Miss Piggy!” Ellie announcing with a beaming smile. 
“She would name it that,” the redhead mutters to you, nudging you gently.
You just smirk. “She really would.”
It takes a few more minutes for all of your students to be picked up, and then you’re heading back inside to gather your things for the night. You make sure that Squeaky is loaded up on food and water before flicking off the lights and heading to the room next door. You can hear the guinea pig in the redhead’s room squeaking incessantly.
“He’s so cute, Mom!” Ellie grins up at Melissa as she holds the furry animal with such care.
“He’s lucky,” your wife grumbles.
“Miss Piggy won’t let us hold her,” your daughter tells her other mother seriously. “She bites Miss Teagues.”
“Well, Sweet Cheeks knows that if he bites me, he’s being flung against the-” the redhead stops herself before she can finish her sentence. “Nevermind.”
“I think Sweet Cheeks needs a nice house,” Ellie suggests as she puts the animal back in his cage. “And better food. And a cooler water bottle.”
The guinea pig squeaks, whether that be in agreement or because he’s upset that he’s been put back into his holding cell for the night, nobody knows- but your little girl squeals. “See? Even Sweet Cheeks agrees.”
Melissa looks down at her class pet with warm eyes. “You really want to do that?” You’re not sure if she’s speaking to the rodent or to your daughter, but your little girl replies. 
“Please!” Ellie begs, and her puppy dog eyes are strong. Sweet Cheeks squeaks.
You watch your wife pet the little critter through the cage before checking that he has enough food and water to last him until tomorrow. “I guess we’re going to the pet store tonight for a stupid pet I didn’t even want.”
You opt to stay home and cook dinner while your daughter drags your wife out to the pet store a few blocks down. You manage to get the meal out of the pot and plated, put on the dinner table, and they still aren’t home yet.
You put the plates in the microwave and oven to keep them warm before settling on the couch with some of the papers that you’ve yet to look over. It’s still a bit of time before the two walk in- or rather, Melissa walks in with multiple bags while Ellie skips in with a lollipop in her mouth.
“Melissa…” you furrow a brow. Then you look to your little girl .”Elizabeth.”
“Mom said I could!” your daughter protests immediately, pointing a finger at her other mother.
“She was good in the stores,” the redhead tells you. “It’s a lollipop hun. It’s not like it’ll spoil dinner.”
“Stores?” your furrowed brow turns into a raised brow.
Melissa sighs and drops the bags- you can immediately see that one is from the pet store and the other is from Michael’s. “The huts that they had for the guinea pigs were shit, so El and I are gonna make a better one for Sweet Cheeks after dinner.”
“Oh?” you chuckle.
“It’s gonna be the best house that a guinea pig has ever had!” Ellie announces with a grin.
“Well, you two better start eating dinner,” you laugh as you set your papers aside and go to pull the meal out of where you had stored it.
Dinner is wonderful, and then your two favorite people clear it and begin to set out on this quest that they’ve created for themselves while you settle back down on the couch to finish your grading.
It’s a couple of hours later, and they still aren’t finished, but you know that your daughter has to get in the shower and get ready for bed. 
Your little girl protests immediately, wanting Sweet Cheeks to have that home ready as soon as possible- she claims that the little hut the district had offered up just wouldn’t do. When you questions if her classroom pet was okay with it and why Sweet Cheeks wouldn’t, Ellie’s face sours. “Momma, Sweet Cheeks is fancy,” is all she offers you.
Melissa has to bite back her laugh. “El, go on upstairs and shower and get ready for bed. I’ll finish up his hut, and we’ll take it in tomorrow, okay?”
Your daughter grumbles something as she hands your wife her part of the hut and heads up the steps towards the bathroom.
“Comb your hair too!” you call up after her.
Only when your daughter is in the shower do you unfold your legs out from under you and make your way back into the dining room to see what creation they’ve started. This hut is… whether your wife wants to admit it or not, she’s falling in love with the little critter in her room. She’s so focused on making this wooden house that she completely misses the fact that you’ve walked into the room. Only when you lay a gentle hand on her shoulder and press a kiss to her head does she realize that you’re right next to her.
“Jesus,” she gasps out as she jumps about a foot in the air. “Warn me next time!”
“Hun, I walked in front of you to get next to you, and I wasn’t quiet about it at all,” you chuckle. “Seems like you’re really into this hut building.”
Green eyes are rolled before she looks up at you. “I’m only doin’ this because your daughter thinks it’s necessary.”
“Mhmm,” you hum. “Sure, babe. Well, I’ll let you get back to it, but you’ll take a break if you aren’t finished to help me put El to bed?”
“You know I never miss the bedtime routine,” your wife promises as she glues another popsicle stick together. 
Ellie comes jumping down the steps about twenty minutes later and immediately tries to run over to the craft.
“You just showered, little girl,” you cut in. “Come sit with Momma.”
“But I-”
Melissa comes into the room with the finished product behind her back. “It’s done anyway, hun.” She pulls it out in front of her and presents it with a smile. “Come sit with me and your momma while we do some grading.”
Your daughter investigates the redhead’s handiwork for a few seconds before smiling and snuggling up to you. 
The next morning, Ellie skips into your wife’s classroom with the supplies that they had bought for the guinea pig. She greets Sweet Cheeks with the softest voice, and her giggle is absolutely precious when he allows her to pick him up.
Together, your daughter and your wife situate the cage to their liking before your little girl takes the rodent to the back corner with a book and begins reading to him. When you catch Melissa taking a picture of the two of them and then joining them, you keep quiet.
Lunch is filled with your wife complaining about the guinea pig that she ‘just had to do so much for’. There’s a sparkle in your eye- she wouldn’t be making this much of a deal okay out of it if she truly hated the animal. She would ignore it in the way that she ignores people she can’t stand.
And then by the end of the day, you get a text that tells you Melissa had to leave just a few minutes early because she forgot she had an appointment, and she’s so sorry that you and Ellie will now have to take the bus or walk back home. You’re just the slightest bit confused when you read that message- she hadn’t written any appointments on the calendar for today. Still, you shrug and continue on for the last few minutes of the day.
At dismissal, Janine has your wife’s class, and she looks… why does she look like she knows something that she probably shouldn’t?
Ellie makes her way over to you with a smile that quickly turns into a frown when she doesn’t see Melissa standing next to you as she usually does. “Where’s Mom?”
“We’re going to have to walk back home today,” you tell your little girl with a ruffle to her hair. “Mom forgot she had some sort of appointment.”
“That’s what she’s calling it?” Janine cuts in. Then she hums suspiciously and walks away.
You roll your eyes- your shorter coworker can be so odd sometimes. With a shrug, you usher your daughter back into the building to gather your things. You’re not looking forward to this walk home. It’s getting colder, and you have quite a few things to lug back home with you to go through.
Luck seems to be on your side though, because Melissa’s name lights up your phone as you’re attempting to get Ellie to stop trying to pick up the hamster in your own classroom and out of the room.
“Melissa Schemmenti,” you grumble. “You better have a good reason to have abandoned me at work.”
“I didn’t,” your wife tells you. “I’m sitting out front- my appointment got canceled, so I came back to drive you and El home.”
“We’ll be out as soon as Elizabeth puts down Squeaky,” you tell the redhead, although you are giving your daughter a pointed look. How she got your hamster to let her hold it, you will never know.
Your little girl scrunches her nose at you, but she does listen. And then the two of you are heading out the front doors of the school, and there is the smiling redhead.
You get Ellie into the car and put your things in the back with her before sliding into the passenger seat, pecking your wife’s lips as you do so.
“Sorry for the confusion,” Melissa mumbles against your lips.
You chuckle. “Just be lucky I didn’t have to walk home with all of this shit, or I would’ve been a lot more pissed.”
The redhead knows that you are not going to be happy with her decision to bring home the guinea pig that she snuck out of her classroom- the real reason she left early for the day. So, she makes the choice to really attempt to butter you up- put you in a good mood so when you discover what she’s done, she won’t face your wrath to its full extent.
“I was thinking that maybe we go out for dinner tonight?” Melissa suggests softly.
You lift a brow. “What do you want from me that you’re buttering me up?”
Your wife smirks. “Nothin’. Just think we deserve to go out tonight- especially with the crap we’ve been dealing with from the district.”
“Like the class pets?”
“And other stuff,” the second grade teacher tells you. “Now c’mon, d’you wanna go out tonight or not?”
“I think that sounds nice,” you concede. “Where?”
“Where do you want to go?”
You, your wife, and your daughter all end up in one of your favorite cozy little diners in the city. It’s exactly the meal that you were hoping it would be- warm and cozy and filled with laughter. 
But then you come home, and Melissa stops you from entering the house before she does. She goes as far as grabbing your hand off of the front door knob.
“Mel,” you roll your eyes. “C’mon. I’m full, I’m tired, I have to shower.”
“Just- just promise me you won’t be mad?” your wife says, and she almost sounds nervous- scared.
“What did you do?” your eyes widen, yet your brows furrow.
“Nuh-uh,” Melissa shakes her head. “Promise me you won’t be mad.”
“Did you kill someone?”
“I kind of did the opposite,” your wife shrugs.
You grumble under your breath, “What the fuck does that even mean?” and push the front door open. Almost immediately, you hear a squeaking noise that can only mean one thing.
“Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti,” you shout. “Did you actually steal Sweet Cheeks and bring him home?”
“You did what?!” Ellie also shouts, but her tone is much more excited than yours is. “Sweet Cheeks is here?!” Your little girl entirely abandons your side to follow the sound of the guinea pig noises and find her furry friend.
“Melissa!” you whip around and point an accusatory finger at her. “Tell me you didn’t.”
The redhead stays quiet.
“Melissa!”
Finally, she throws her hands in the air in surrender. “Okay, I did. But hear me out.”
“What am I supposed to hear you out about?” you ask her in disbelief. “You brought that rodent into our house when it’s supposed to-”
“Honey, I’m sorry, but I-”
“But you what?” you plant your hands on your hips.
Your wife has to stop herself from telling you how attractive you look when you’re pissed with her. “I just… I thought about how he was so sad when El put him back in his cage yesterday, and Janine told me the kids would take turns taking him home, and I… I fell for the little booger. I don’t want him getting hurt or nothin’.”
“Mom!” Ellie comes running into the room, and she’s all giggles as the little ball of fur cozies up to her chest. “Look! Sweet Cheeks is so happy to be getting extra Ellie cuddles!”
“I’m sure she is, El,” Melissa chuckles, and then she looks at you. “Look how happy the kid is, and Sweet Cheeks is gettin’ love in a safe space.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger as you close your eyes, sighing loudly. “Melissa.”
“I did what I thought was right,” the redhead stands her ground.
You look up at the ceiling. “You thought stealing the guinea pig from your classroom was right?”
“You stole Sweet Cheeks?” Ellie asks with wide eyes. Her hand stills on the guinea pig.
“What are you going to tell your students?” you ask.
At that, your wife bites her lip and hesitates. “I’ll- I’ll have to give them the death talk.”
“You’re going to fake the death of your class pet and give them a wrongful death talk?” you ask her incredulously.
Melissa shrugs. “It’s a talk I would have to give inevitably when one of their other pets kills him. This way, at least he has a fighting chance.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?” you ask her, although she can tell that you’re about to give in.
“And you love me for it,” your wife replies cheekily. “So, what do you say? Can we keep him?”
Ellie repeats the question, puppy dog eyes big and sweet, pleading.
You groan as you know you’re going to give into their pleas. “Fine. But I was not part of this kidnapping, and the two of you are taking care of him. I’m not lifting a damn finger when it comes to him.”
You’re immediately being attacked with hugs and kisses, and even Sweet Cheeks squeaks in approval and thanks. 
“El,” Melissa says seriously though. “You gotta keep the secret that he’s here. If anyone finds out that I took him, I’m gonna be in some trouble.”
Your daughter mimes zipping her lips. “If anyone asks, Sweet Cheeks is dead.”
“Good girl,” your wife ruffles her hair. “Now c’mon. I think we have some things to hash out with his new cage.”
“You got a new cage?!” you yell as the two go running off to settle the guinea pig in.
The next day, Janine is all over your wife. She’s figured out that Melissa took the guinea pig, despite Ellie’s insistence that she saw the guinea pig belly up this morning when you all came into the school.
Eventually, the redhead confesses, and your little girl looks absolutely miserable when Janine tells her she has until lunch to bring him back.
Your wife begrudgingly brings Sweet Cheeks back to Abbott, but then she somehow manages to convince Janine to let her keep the original Sweet Cheeks and she’ll front the bill for another guinea pig for the class.
So, when you leave the school, Ellie is holding the rodent in her arms with so much happiness in her heart, and Sweet Cheeks squeals with excitement. You can’t help but smile at how happy this stupid little guinea pig makes your daughter, and also your absolutely ridiculous wife.
That day after school, Melissa goes out and buys another guinea pig that looks similar to Sweet Cheeks, but both she and Ellie can identify a few differences to tell them apart upon closer inspection.
“It’s like twins,” your wife chuckles. “Always got at least two differences to tell ‘em apart.”
The next morning, you, your wife, your daughter, and the replacement for Sweet Cheeks load into the car and head off towards Abbott Elementary.
You think that the problem is solved between your wife and her grade level partner in regards to class pets, but come the end of the day, Melissa picks up her belongings and the guinea pig that she has affectionately started calling ‘Honey Buns’.
“Melissa, we are not stealing another guinea pig,” you sigh heavily.
The redhead grins, as does your daughter. “We ain’t stealin’ him. Me an’ my class talked, and we all agreed that with my students’ other pets at home, it wouldn’t be fair to the guinea pig, so we’re takin’ Honey Buns home, an’ I told Janine I’ll take a pet rock like her weirdo of a boyfriend.”
“We are not taking Honey Buns home,” you try to put your foot down, but you already see the way that Melissa has grown attached to this guinea pig, and if Ellie’s giggles as she tries to share a piece of carrot with the animal is any indication, you know you’re going to end up with two new pets in the house.
“Momma, please!” your daughter starts to plead, only for the vegetable to fall from her mouth. She just barely manages to catch it before feeding it to Honey Buns. “Please! Mom and I- we’ll take care of him, just like we’re going to take care of Sweet Cheeks!”
You groan as you run a hand through your hair. “I hate you guys,” you grumble as you turn on your heel to start walking out of the school.
“No you don’t!” Melissa calls after you.
Ellie runs after you and all but tackles you in a hug, looping her arms around your waist. “You love us.”
“You’re lucky,” you roll your eyes as you lean down to plant a kiss on your daughter’s head. Then you turn back to the redhead a few paces behind you. “I better get some good dinner tonight.”
Tags (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights  @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson @casualfoxwitch @babytakeittothehead
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cobaltperun · 3 days ago
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Darkest Part (4) - Died In Your Arms
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Astrid Deetz x female Reader
Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isn’t a single thing you’d like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just can’t stay away from her.
Masterlist / First part / Previous Part
Word count: 5.3k
-Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight, it must've been some kind of kiss, I should've walked away-
This was a good life, hot chocolate, paper taped to the desk as you drew your third sketch of the building you had in mind. Away from all the worries and for a moment free from any obligations.
“How’s it going?” your mom came up to you and leaned over to kiss your cheek.
“Mom, you shouldn’t-“ she didn’t wince, her back didn’t hurt, yeah, it would end soon, and you desperately wanted it to continue. Wanted things to get better, wanted her to be healthy again.
Your phone had other ideas, as the alarm rang and the sound of it startled you awake. Curse your need to constantly change your alarm ringtone, otherwise you’d get used to it and sleep right through it. This new one was ridiculously awful, like someone constantly ringing the bell, but it got the job done. “Am I ever going to wake up well-rested again?” you wondered, feeling like you barely slept a wink. You just couldn’t get used to this house.
Well, considering the tales about it, maybe that wasn’t that strange.
Or it was just the reasonable explanation.
As it was, last night your exhausted body just collapsed onto the bed and you fell asleep, and then got woken up by the chill of the night, because of course you were too tired to cover yourself. What followed was you spending way too long trying to warm up. Winter River indeed, it really was cold. Why couldn’t this be some pleasant warm place, somewhere you could still go around wearing short sleeves instead of already needing several layers of clothing.
The only thing worse than the cold was the Chihuahua that was also in the house. “Why the fuck would I let her be on my mind first thing in the morning?” you slapped your forehead, now even more annoyed. Of all the people you could have thought of at the start your day, it had to be her.
Annoyed, you threw the covers off and immediately came to regret it as the cold air made you shiver. On second thought you should probably stay in bed a bit longer, so you went back under the covers into the warm escape from the chilling cold. You swiftly unlocked your phone and figured you might as well check up on your mom and Alex. You sent each of them a message asking how they were and if everything was fine and put your phone away. It was still too early to call them and if you had to be awake it didn't mean you had to wake them up too.
~X~
Halfway through the day and a lot of packing later, you sat down at the table exhausted with the hot cup of tea in front of you. You really needed that as the warmth of the tea seemed to seep into your very soul. Actually, you also needed a blanket around your shoulders and the nice warm fire accompanied by perhaps movie. It's been a while since you've watched ‘Kill, Baby, Kill’ and you were really in the mood for it after these past few days.
Seeing your favorite movie again would probably make your life a tiny bit better.
No, instead of that you had to deal with someone rather happy getting inside the house with an obvious bounce to their steps. You raised your head, confused and for a moment even terrified that someone actually broke in and just didn't care about making noises. And then that someone walked through the door into the dining room and you would have been a lot happier if it was a burglar.
No. Instead it was the fucking Chihuahua what a wide, frighteningly bright, and happy grin on her face and the world was going to end any moment now. You were fairly sure, and not at all being too dramatic, that Astrid Deetz, also known as Chihuahua, being this obviously happy was one of the eleven signs of the apocalypse.
“Oh, of course you're here. Well, it doesn't matter, not even you can ruin my mood,” she just  walked past you, still happy, and not throwing insults at you. She didn’t do anything! Absolutely nothing! Not even glaring at you and you could not remember the last time you were this frightened.
You scrambled to your feet and rushed outside. “Delia!” you cried out hoping the woman would have some kind of help for you maybe some medicine for hallucinations or a plausible explanation or anything really as long as it helped. You desperately needed someone to convince you that just made what happened up in your head!
It was all in your head. There was no other explanation, which made it even more concerning because Astrid Deetz being in your head and part of your hallucinations was not a good sign for you. Frankly, at this point you had no idea which was worse, Astrid being happy or you thinking about the damn Chihuahua to the point of hallucinating seeing her happy.
~X~
“Damn it Delia, why couldn’t you just get this delivered to the damn house?!” you hissed, a lot like the creatures inside the box you were currently carrying. You knew you had fear of heights before, but apparently you also had a fear of snakes. Which was made a lot worse by the sounds the snakes were making and you were praying that the people Delia bought the snakes from didn't scam her and actually defanged them.
Sure, in theory you were safe. The box was sealed, and safe, but your brain still came up with frightening scenarios. As safe as the box probably was you were still frightened that they would somehow find their way out and bite you and you did not want to die due to snake bites.
‘How many times am I going to risk my life in one single week?’ you wondered, and you really shouldn't have because you had a few more times before the end of this trip.
You finally reached the house and couldn’t have been happier to see it as you rushed up the stairs and set the box on the table for Delia to do whatever she intended to do with the snakes. You really hoped she wouldn't make you go with her because at that point you might actually think staying with Rory would be more pleasant. And just to be safe you immediately turned to Delia when she walked into the room. “I'm done with the snakes, I did my part the rest is up to you,” you urgently informed her before she could get more great ideas.
Delia just laughed. “They are defanged, don't worry,” apparently they were, you weren’t about to check.
You slumped slightly, doing your best puppy eyes to get her to let you stay out of this. “I am still not comfortable around snakes, so please don’t ask me to help you with them,” well at least she didn't look like she would push you to join her as she smiled and patted you on the shoulder.
“Come on, I'm not that cruel,” she smiled at you and then shook her head in amusement at the relief showing on your face. “I thought it would be a good experience is for you to watch, but it’s fine if you don’t. Oh and Y/N, you can rest tonight, you don't even have to go to the wedding,” she was telling you one good news after the other. “We have a few more things to do tomorrow morning and then you can go back home,” Delia surprise you but maybe you should have expected it. She had her moments of kindness and you've been on the receiving end plenty of times, despite all the less pleasant, more dangerous and difficult moments you had with her.
“Thanks Delia, I really appreciate it,” you told her as Astrid joined the two of you.
“Snakes?” Astrid looked at the content of the box, surprised by what she saw and for once you couldn't blame her. Personally, you didn't quite get why Delia got them herself but she wanted them and she got them. Something about Ancient Egypt and Pharaohs from what you understood.
“Actually asps,” Delia corrected her, and you had to admit she actually sounded excited about them.
“Why? Are they a wedding gift for Rory?” Astrid asked, hopeful that the answer would be yes.
“Now that would’ve made it worth carrying them,” you knew that wasn’t their purpose but  no one could force you to stop happily imagining Rory freaking out over the snakes.
For the first time since you've known her, Astrid actually didn't have a rude remark or an insult for you, and actually just rolled her eyes with a smile which was almost freaky but not exactly an unwelcome change.
“Too late they've be defanged, guaranteed harmless! And they're for me.” Delia shattered your dreams well, yours was never even allowed to begin because you knew from the start what she wanted to do with them. Still for a moment you could hope that she would at least use them as a prank. It’s not like they were one se only! She could use them for more than one thing. After all, she already got them, why not just use them on the bastard as a very funny prank. It would not change anything about the snakes, and they could still be used for the ritual thing she had in mind.
Well, you were left with only your dreams.
You left the two of them to check if there was anything left unpacked, you were just about to head back upstairs when Lydia rushed down and you turned around, not sure how to react to the frantic woman.
“You got your wish, we're leaving! Pack up your things, I'm driving you back to school,” Lydia seemed absolutely frantic, like she just saw a ghost, which, well, she was supposed to be able to see them. You watched from the stairs as she went by you and toward the front door
“Wait! What happened” Astrid called after her.
“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” Lydia denied answering Astrid’s question.  That actually made sense, especially if it had something to do with ghosts, which this house apparently had at one point. So going by their relationship and the issues Astrid had with her mother you guessed it was something paranormal in question.
Delia, however, did not make that connection. “Oh you're calling off the wedding?” she went after Lydia outside and just for a moment you and Astrid exchanged looks do you just shrugged finally realizing that you couldn't even begin to try and have a normal conversation with her. That's how used you were to just fights and banter and insults and everything that came along with this hatred between you.
Eventually you just pointed at yourself then point upstairs and then point at her and outside. The message being clear, you would, rather regrettably, check up on Rory while she would go and check up on her mother.
To that Astrid, just as unsure of how to interact with you like a normal human being, just went and gave you a thumbs up and you both went your separate ways, one up the stairs to the attic and the other outside to talk to her mother.
~X~
Lydia was stuck in the office, just contemplating everything about her and Astrid’s relationship.
Apparently, her daughter was not gay. In fact, she had a date with a boy. Her first date was with a boy, not with the girl as she expected it would be. Did Lydia really mess up that much that she wasn't even capable of seeing how things actually were? Her daughter, who she believed was gay and actually had a crush on you and was just unable to properly act up on those feelings, threw her a curveball and was going on a date on Halloween night with a boy she met 2 days ago.
How did she miss the signs?
Her concerns were now even bigger because, unlike you, this boy was a complete unknown for Lydia. She didn't know his full name, she didn't know his parents, granted she didn't know your parents either but that was beside the point, she didn't know how he spent his time, what his interests were. She didn't know anyone who knew him, and she was now overthinking it and panicking and was getting even more nervous and afraid for her own daughter because this was a mess, and she was disappointed in herself as a mother for mistaking her daughter’s sexuality.
Maybe Astrid was just bisexual. Maybe. Maybe Lydia just got so deep into preparing for a girlfriend that she forgot that there were other options, all equally daunting for her as the mother of a child that would soon start, that actually just stated dating, and find her own love and heartbreak and everything Lydia herself went through all those decades ago.
Also did her daughter actually just tell her that she crashed through the fence and that's how she met the guy? Like it was just something people did for fun? How did that even happen?
Lydia began breathing deeply, huffing and taking very loud, very deep breaths. She could not go down that train of thought.
~X~
He liked her.
Jeremy liked her. Astrid knew that much, she could see signs that he wanted to kiss her, that he really didn't want to spend any time handing out candies to the kids and instead actually wanted to spend time with her.
And she, at least logically speaking, wasn't opposed to the idea. At least it would prove to her that some feelings she may or may not have were, in fact, not real and just her heart playing with her brain so she would kiss him to prove her heart wrong.
Astrid let him approach her, she felt his hands on her, hugging her and she hugged him back, and he held her like he hasn’t been touched in years. Like he was desperate to feel someone’s touch, someone’s kind and positive touch. Astrid could almost feel his breath on her lips and then she just couldn't do it, because there was an infuriating Barnacle plaguing her thoughts at that very moment.
She pulled away, separating from him even though she knew how it looked. “Sorry I just I think we are rushing too fast into this,” she apologized and he seemed understanding at first. At least from the looks of it, he just turned to the window and looked rejected “I'm not saying I'm opposed to kissing you eventually, but we just met two days ago,” she tried to cheer him up but then he turned to face her.
“No, you’re right, I'm- I'm sorry I just got excited because you can see me and for over 23 years no one saw me and I just thought we had something,” she must have heard him wrong but then she looked down and saw it.
He was floating and that's when she realized all the stories her mother told were actually true and she was actually seeing a ghost these past few days
~X~
You were in the living room, with everyone aside from Astrid and Rory, plus Jane, just lazing around on the sofa and texting Alex. You weren’t in a costume, you had no intention of dressing up for the Halloween.
The truth was, you kind of hated Halloween. Well hate might be a strong word, mostly reserved for Astrid and maybe another thing or two. No the actual word you were looking for regarding Halloween was more like indifference brought upon by that's one time you got dressed as a pumpkin and got teased for by your classmates.
It wasn't fun. It was actually horrific and ever since then you just didn't bother celebrating Halloween. So, what if Astrid was currently on her ridiculous date? It had nothing to do with your current mood. Even if you did hated the guy more than you hated her for some reason. You should have felt sorry for him, after all he was the one who had to deal with being on a date with the Chihuahua.
So, no, you did not care about Astrid being on a date with some random dude.
You just realized you’d be all alone. Delia would be at the cemetery doing whatever she seemed to want to do with the snakes and Lydia would be preparing for her wedding and Rory would be giving out the candy. And you were fine with that. You would just be hanging around on the couch in the living room waiting for Delia to sign all the papers and then you could just go ahead and leave, just start packing what little things you brought here and get ready to go back home. Luckily Delia promised she would arrange a car to come pick you up.
“Where's Rory?” Lydia asked out of blue, almost as if she was asking out of obligation, because she should know where he was and not because she actually had to know where he was. Especially since she had Chihuahua’s first date to worry about.
“Supermarket swapping out the candy I bought for carrot sticks, because Rory loves to fun suck everything even Halloween,” of course Delia did not miss a single chance point out the kind of person Rory was, because Lydia apparently couldn’t see him for who he really was. Even if it didn’t change anything you figured she did feel the need to, in her own way, warn her stepdaughter about him because as far as you knew telling Lydia that Rory was not who he was presenting himself as wasn't working. “Gotta run, see you at the church,” she turned back to Lydia and with a hopeful look added. “Unless you're calling off the wedding.”
“No Delia,” Lydia sighed and just noticed Delia was leaving, that was how focused on Astrid she was. “Wait, why are you going to the cemetery?” Lydia asked. It just crossed your mind that she in her panic earlier today did not see the snakes Delia bought.
“To commune with my dear husband spirit,” was all Delia needed to say. She quickly waved at you and was on her way leaving you alone with Lydia and Jane and from the looks of it, Jane was going to leave soon so that would just leave you and Lydia alone in the house for a while. At least until she would go and get Astrid. Oh, and until Rory came back.
Still, it could be fun. You haven't had the chance to be on your own wait the Lydia Deetz and you actually were curious about her. And it had nothing to do with maybe not wanting to be alone while a certain Chihuahua was on a date with a guy she met two days ago, while she spent so damn long hating you. Yeah, that had nothing to do with it.
Nothing at all!
You did not care where that stupid Chihuahua was or how quickly she fell in love like dumb ass.
“The closest we ever got to Disney was when Astrid dressed as Cinderella’s dead mom,” you absolutely did not filter out what Jane mentioned about her daughter and scouts or whatever group her daughter was in and you absolutely did not think Astrid’s costume sounded exactly like her.
Jane said something something fruit salad mortgage something something non triggering and then asked the question that was annoying the hell out of you, that is, she asked where Astrid was.
Lydia had this soft, yet somber smile on her face. “On a date,” she said, like a parent learning to accept their child was growing up. “Her first. I think I'm more nervous than she is. The boy lives over on Jefferson,” Lydia really did sound nervous when she said that, and you guessed between their rocky relationship and all the things that happened Astrid’s first date at this moment wasn’t something Lydia was entirely prepared for.
Something something perfect sales records something something on the market for years something something once more you're pretty much tuning out the words of the woman the Deetz family hired to sell their house. And you were doing good, tuning her out, that is until she said three words: the murder house and you immediately sat up and stopped texting Alex. A sinking feeling inside of your guts was almost telling you to pay attention because you just had a bad feeling about what was going to they said next.
“Murder house? Which house?” Lydia asked now frantic and you sort of pieced together that's maybe the house show left Astrid at wasn't that far off from looking like a murder house. Because if the house looked normal and if Lydia you got to see the parents or that boy she would not be looking this afraid right now.
“125,” James said and just from the look of Lydia's face you knew that was the house Astrid was in and so you jumped to your feet and rushed to get the car keys.
“Fucking hell Chihuahua, what did you get yourself into?” just as you've got the keys you saw Lydia rushing out. “I'm going with you!” you quickly told her and followed after her into the car. The woman was clearly in shock but all she cared about was just getting to Astrid, nothing else mattered.
You did not dare to tell her you would get there in time. You had no idea how all of this worked, sure you believed in ghosts and you've been seeing glimpses of strange things throughout your life. You still had no idea how any of that actually functioned. You had no idea if they could harm Astrid.
If the guy she was with was bad news then she probably was in danger and especially if Lydia, the most competent person to judge if her daughter was in danger from ghosts was also panicking. “He killed his parents 23 years ago!” okay, Astrid was definitely in danger. “If I just didn’t let her into that house, if I just went in with her! What kind of mother am I if something happens to her-“ Lydia was mostly talking to herself.
“Hey, wait, wait, don't go there you couldn't know!” You tried to get her to calm down. “You're the expert but you couldn't know! Just focus on saving her so you can berate yourself later,” you needed her focused because if she wasn't, you had no hopes of getting Astrid back in time. And you really, as much as you didn't like Astrid, did not want her dead or in danger.
~X~
The moment the car began slowing down in front of the house you just ran out, without even waiting for it to stop and ran up the stairs ignoring the for sale sign in front of the house. You ended up bursting through the doors so hard the handle might have gotten a bit damaged because the doors were old.
You stumbled when you entered the house, you felt sick for a moment when you saw the man. But you did not see him clearly, it was like there was a mist around him.
"Astrid!" Lydia yelled and it snapped you out of your confusion. That man was a ghost, mist meant ghost, at least at this stage of your ability to see ghosts. So, you rushed right through the woman going down the stairs.
"Wait! Deetz!" you yelled as loud as you could as you ran up the stairs two steps at a time. You saw the light and broke through the door, but Astrid just walked through something.
"What the? Barnacle?" your eyes met and you reached out to her but the ghost guy grabbed her forearm and pulled her along and the portal closed before you could reach out and grab her hand.
"Astrid!" Lydia cried out, but it was too late as well.
If only she reached out to you. For the first time since you met her you cursed yourself for not being at least civil with her. "Damn it!" you slammed your fist on the old table, right next to some thick book. "What do we do now?"
Lydia grabbed the book on the table, your outburst probably caught her attention. "Come on, I have a crazy idea," you saw uncertainty in her eyes, fear that maybe not even what she had in mind would be enough, but she had to hope. You both rushed down the stairs, every second mattered and you couldn't waste time on just talking. "Can you drive?" she asked, clearly intending to go through the book.
"Of course," you nodded and ran to the car, starting the engine once more as Lydia sat down next to you.
~X~
You had no time to waste, as you drove around the house and parked the car right in front of the entrance to the house, not even caring that you would somewhat block the path for the kids. They could avoid the car, it didn't matter, you just had to be quick and find a way to rescue Astrid, so up to the stairs you drove.
“Y/N?! Where’s the rush? You're nearly drove into the house!” Rory exclaimed as he was on top of the stairs preparing to hand out the candy to the kids, but you just ran past him not really wasting a moment to stop and chat. You didn’t even turn the engine off, just parked the car.
Lydia gave him some excuse or whatever as you both rushed upstairs. She already told you where to go so you just grabbed the crowbar on the way upstairs and started removing the boards Delia and Lydia put there just an hour or so ago. By the time Lydia came up the stairs as well you were almost done and you both pulled the last wooden board out of the way and went into the attic and from that point on you could only watch her as she found the solution.
The first thing that caught your eye was the small scale model of Winter River, done in amazing detail, and if things were any different you would have spent hours studying it.
“I can't believe I'm doing this,” she took a deep breath. “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!” you had no idea what was going on as she repeated that word? Name? Whatever it was three times.
And then the freakiest thing happened the mist slash smoke surrounding the paranormal vanished from your vision as the zombie-looking guy with green hair and striped suits and rather unhealthy-looking skin emerged from the Winter River model. “The juice is loose,” he said and vanished, only to appear right next to Lydia.
“I need you to tell me what this means,” she skipped the formalities and just showed him the pages of the book she found in that room where Astrid was.
“Let's have a look,” he pulled out a magnifying glass. “Long story short, your daughter is screwed,” well, fuck! “She decided to trade lives with a boy, he gets to come back while she's stuck on the other side, permanently. One way ticket to the Soul Train,” this guy, Beetlejuice, explained and you were just absolutely confused about what was going on. Afterlife actually existed, and people could come back.
More importantly… “She did what?! Why would she do that? Who does that?” you demanded. Astrid was smart! What did that ghost offer her to make her accept giving up her life? Or did he just outright trick her? “Shit, we need to get her back,” you turned away from Lydia and Beetlejuice and ran your hand through your hair, not even sure you would make it in time.
“The Soul Train?” Lydia asked for further explanations.
“That's right! The last stop, The Great Beyond,” he said and you just leaned back against the wall. Was there even anything you could do at this point? Astrid was on the other and you were over here in the living world. But then again Beetlejuice was from that other world. Was that why Lydia called him? Because he could somehow move the two of you into the world of the dead?
Wait, were you about to go into the world of the dead for Astrid? Not knowing the risks, or the consequences, or if it would be dangerous? You knew nothing about it, it was a complete unknown that you weren’t even sure existed five minutes ago!
Somehow you knew the answer was yes. You would take all those risks to take her back, because you plain and simple couldn’t live with yourself if you just let her die.
“Can we go in after her?” You asked as you once more turned toward Lydia and Beetlejuice.
“Quid pro quo, I want something in return,” while he replied to you he was looking at Lydia, as if he would only accept something from her.
Maybe those were the rules? Since she summoned him?
“Of course you do. What do you want?” Lydia asked ready to give him anything he asked for as long as it would save her daughter.
“Well I've got this ex-wife-“ Beetlejuice began and you've spent enough time with Delia and you knew a tangent when you saw one.
“Get to the point!” You exclaimed. Each second could be vital in keeping Astrid alive, and you did not want to waste it on his tangents.
“You want me to marry you,” Lydia knew what he wanted, and you just turned to look at her because what the fuck was that about? How would that even work? All of this was too much and the only reason you were keeping your sanity was because you had a goal in mind.
You weren’t sure you’d be keeping your sanity for much longer as so you watched this Beetlejuice act like getting married was Lydia's idea, like she just proposed to him because she wanted that. And then he made her sign some contract because apparently, he needed that in writing. You were in the most absurd situation possible and you half- expected to just wake up and see that everything was fine. Like this was all just a fever dream and you would wake up go to the work at the library you'd see Astrid there being annoying and being a Chihuahua and getting on your nerves and not on the way to swap lives with a ghost and die.
“What's the plan on getting in?” Lydia had enough of his bullshit as well and just demanded to know how you all would get in.  
Beetlejuice just vanished again and appeared in front of the wall, crouching and drawing a bomb with the fuse. He then just went and lit his thumb on fire. This was all absolutely ridiculous because the drawn fuse just lit on fire and the bomb exploded and instead of looking outside of the house you were looking into some office.
“Deetz, you're gonna be the death of me,” you said, ready to just go through.
“Trust me kid I know the feeling,” Beetlejuice said.
“I did not ask,” fuck it, you were going in, and you were not getting out without Astrid.
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